A reader asks:
Can a woman become a squirter? If so, how can this be brought about? Are there exercises that should be performed, a diet, specific stimulation? Or, if she were capable, would she have been able to do it already?
Dr. Z answers:
Most sex educators are pretty quiet on the subject of squirting. That’s because a lot of people still don’t believe that female ejaculation is real. Some insist that female ejaculation is no more than a loss of bladder control during orgasm, and that what squirts out is just plain urine. Indeed, to a casual observer, a woman squirting looks a lot like a woman peeing.
Having read up on the science and thought about this for many years, I accept the fundamentals of female ejaculation. A woman’s urethra is coddled in a gland called the urethral sponge, which some call the “female prostate,” because it’s anatomically similar to a man’s prostate gland. This female gland secretes a fluid that is chemically similar to semen, and has many tiny ducts that flow into the urethra.
When a woman “squirts,” she’s actually ejaculating through her urethra, in much the same way as a guy ejaculates through his urethra. (Of course, her spunk lacks sperm and various other ingredients of boy butter.) This female prostate gland is part of the legendary G spot. So those women who squirt tend to manage it by way of G-spot stimulation.
Numerous how-to books have been written on the subject, but in a nutshell, here’s how it’s supposed to work. First, she has to locate her G spot. It feels like a rough or ridged area on the inside wall of her vagina, near the top (when she’s lying down) or front (sitting upright), set an inch or so in from the vaginal opening. When she’s aroused, the spongy tissue becomes engorged and feels firmer to the touch.
G-spot jockeys generally say that it should be massaged with slow, firm pressure. One way to do that is to use a backward-curling “c’mere” motion with two fingers inserted in the vagina. A curved sex toy made for G-spot play could also achieve that effect.
As she responds to this stimulation and edges closer to orgasm, she might feel an urge to pee. At this point, she should not stop, but bear down and push out with her pelvic muscles as if she were trying to pee. At last, if she’s lucky, she might ejaculate.
Some female ejaculators gush great volumes of fluid. Others squirt only a little jet. And some don’t produce enough of anything to notice. Remember, it isn’t pee. Whatever the skeptics say, women who experience ejaculation insist that it’s obviously different from urination.
Some authors claim that all women can learn to ejaculate. I don’t know if that’s true. I am quite confident, however, that not all women want to learn.
Some female ejaculators say they find it empowering and ultra-erotic. Others say it’s just kind of neat. (I suspect these were the girls who excelled at gleeking in grade school.) But a great many more, I’m sure, could care less.
On the whole, it seems like a worthwhile project, because a woman and her partner could learn a lot about her body and how she responds sexually.