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Monthly Archives: January 2012

Pussy Licker by Tristan Taormino

Tristan Taormino is the author of several sensationally sexy and informative books including Down and Dirty Sex Secrets, Pucker Up: A Hands-on Guide to Ecstatic Sex, and The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. These days Tristan has gone into porn production, starting with the release of Tristan Taormino’s House of Ass. For details, visit Tristan’s official website, www.PuckerUp.com.

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Every pussy has a story. Mine can tell countless tales of wagging tongues and a few of mouth-induced ecstasy. Like the time I shaved her completely bare, and the stroke of a tongue felt 10 times more intense. Her virgin voyage with vibration: Pocket rocket plus clit equals Yes. The auspicious occasion of her meeting two mouths at once. When her clitoral hood was pierced and, after weeks of healing, the first time she felt something flick against that tiny stainless steel barbell. She has met the mouths of mothers, masters, liars, and thieves. She’s had clothespins and metal clamps pinch her tender parts. She’s been pressed against the faces of angels and convinced she talked to the devil. She’s been around the block. She knows what she likes.

It’s no surprise to me that lots of women I’ve met rate receiving oral sex as their favorite sexual activity and the easiest way to make them come. Just as most men wouldn’t turn down a blowjob, girls will happily accept some lip-to-lip service. The tongue is a perfect tool to stimulate the clitoris – not too hard, not too soft, it can move quickly but gently. There is even a vibrator called “Tongue II,” which features a pulsating fuchsia rubber licker powered by several batteries to move back and forth with speed, precision, and no chance of getting lockjaw. Ah, technology.

The first time I had my kisser on another woman’s box, I assumed that I could just do what I thought I liked done to me. But once you’re down there, it’s a whole different story. It’s not just guys who have to learn what’s lip-licking good. Every chick’s coochie is unique and so is the way she likes it licked. Some girls like broad, firm strokes with the wide middle (instead of just the tip), where the tongue is wettest and softest. Others prefer a darting game of cat-and-mouse on or around the clit. There are flickerings in, up, and down or circular motions, and slipping inside her hole is always an option. Drawing her clit into your mouth and sucking on it is, um, an acquired taste for the suckee, so ask before you do it. I had a girlfriend who liked to have her hood pulled back so I could plant one directly on her clit; this kind of close stimulation is too much in such a sensitive place for most women but if she’s that kind of a girl, she will most likely tell you.

If you’ve watched some porn, hopefully you know not to take very many pointers from the pro’s on this subject. Why? Because in skin flicks, it’s all about showing the pussy, so performers are prompted to move their faces, and sometimes their tongues, to the side of where they really want to be. That’s why you often find yourself thinking, “What is he doing?” or “That can’t feel good; she’s nowhere near her clit.” I learned the other end of this firsthand, when filming my first adult video. In my first scene, I was trying to make magic with my mouth, and from behind the camera, John “Buttman” Stagliano barked, “Can someone explain to Tristan that when she buries her head in Ruby’s cunt, Ruby may be seriously enjoying herself, but I can’t see a goddamn thing?” I had to adapt to make a better movie, and I know my technique suffered for it!

Turning to the receiving end of the vulvic equation, I have a love-hate relationship with getting my cunt munched. In my early days, I was wholly unimpressed, but I guess 17-year-old guys haven’t exactly mastered the skill yet (and I hadn’t mastered the skill of mastering and showing them precisely what I want, either). I admit that there have been recent occasions when someone’s face was between my legs and I felt like there was a bumper sticker on my forehead that read, “I’d rather be stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge.” In these moments, it’s not that it feels bad; it just feels too tame and does little to get my juices flowing or make my breath catch. When it’s good, it is divine. Add a finger or two and I am over the moon, legs shaking, the whole bit. But I’ve got a picky puss, and it’s tough to impress her.

As a dyke who plays on all teams, I’ve gone to bed with many straight men who, knowing my queer experience, think they have something to prove. More than once, I’ve had a guy go down like he’s attempting to break some kind of record. He assumes that because I have sex with women, I’ve probably gotten some of the best head of my life – he’s right – and he’s there to prove that he can muff dive with the big girls. He’ll risk neck strain, tongue sprain, and repetitive stress injuries he’ll have to explain to his doctor to make sure I get it good. While I applaud that kind of ambition and tenacity, sometimes I want to gently tug on his hair and say, “No, really, it’s OK, let’s just skip this part.”

Listen, dudes (and dudettes): it’s not about gender or sexual orientation. For me, there are several key ingredients to top-notch cunnilingus. First, shave your face; pussy is delicate! Put everything you’ve got into it: you’re not being x-rayed and nothing says that your head must remain stationary at all times or you can’t put your whole face into the job. Speaking of which, there is one thing that, for me, separates the skippers from the captains: the nose. Some of the most orgasmic pussy licking I’ve ever received has featured the nose very prominently (and, if you have a rather prominent nose, even better!). I’m someone who likes more pressure, less flutter, and nose really does the trick. I also appreciate someone who explores every angle, technique, and intensity level, but you’ve got to know when to settle down, commit to a style, and work it till I scream. While this girl is happy to hand out A’s for effort, effort alone won’t cut it; I want to feel enthusiasm and devotion on the tip of your tongue. Literally. Make me believe that this is the last and best meal you will ever have on earth – it may well be.

Giving Great Aphrodisiac by Angel Rios

Naked woman, facing away from the camera, drizzling honey down her back.

Angel Rios is our lively tips and trixxx maven at Adult FriendFinder.

I’m the type of girl who’s always down for the occasional roll in the hay, or sand or snow — whatever happens to be around. But some people may require an extra “nudge” in the right direction every now and then. Take, for instance Tom, my fuck buddy from payroll. He’s probably the sexiest guy in the whole company: great tan, six pack abs and full pouty lips he uses in all the right ways. Two sexy people hooking up in the bathroom at work is nothing out of the ordinary, at least not in my world, but it’s more than just coincidence that one minute Tom is busily working at his desk, and the next he is overcome with the urge to slide his hand up my skirt.

I like to think the reason for his sudden urges is a little secret weapon I like to call the modern day aphrodisiac. (Well, I also like to think flaunting my DD’s every chance I get helps). Only in Webster’s dictionary is the aphrodisiac a little stiff — “an agent that arouses or is held to arouse sexual desire” — but generally, the aphrodisiac is all about making others stiff, and it must be doing something right. These tricks, on my short list coming up, have been used for centuries to enhance sex drive. Montezuma supposedly drank goblets full of chocolate to keep his libido ablaze. It was and still is an old wives tale that cacao, the bean used to make chocolate, gets people in the mood for some action.

Scientists have proven that there is something to the tale, because chocolate contains a chemical called phenyl ethylamine, which emulates our body’s own endorphins to give us a feeling of excitement and euphoria. So why shouldn’t it help someone along on the road to horny, given the right circumstances (like, say, a voluptuous co-worker gliding in front of your desk)? And Tom thinks I’m just being nice when I offer him the “extra” chocolate croissant the guy at Starbucks put in my bag this morning. Share the love, I say!

I know what you’re thinking: chocolate is the oldest trick in the book. That’s why everyone gives it on Valentines Day, right? Well, here are a few less obvious suggestions you may not have thought of:

Pumpkin and Lavender: I know it sounds strange, but this combination has also been supported by scientific testing. Some research has found increased blood flow to the male genitals when this concoction is smelled or eaten. Since it’s the holiday season, why not use your baking skills to help you get a little action. Try finding a good recipe for pumpkin tarts, then just add a pinch of lavender (find it in the herb section at the supermarket) into the mix, as well as on top, for some extra aromatics. Remember, just a little or the scent will be too strong! When it comes to sexy subterfuge, subtlety is all. By adding zest to the traditional pumpkin pie recipe, you can enjoy all that “gratitude” for the pumpkin without reminding him of Thanksgiving at Grandma’s house. (Let’s face it, if the thought of hearing about Uncle Larry’s bladder problems over mashed potatoes and gravy gives him a boner, what he needs is therapy, not sex!)

Black Licorice: While looking to see what stealth tactics other adventurers might use, I found a really great article on Medicinenet.com which suggests the smell and taste of black licorice. They claim it really sets the ladies on fire because it increases blood flow to the vagina, getting them all nice and warmed up for ya! Next time you take in a movie, skip the popcorn and go straight for the Good n’ Plenty, and maybe she’ll be up for a little “play time” afterwards. Since I couldn’t get over the fact that I can’t stand black licorice in order to become the lovely test girl for this theory, I’ll have to take the experts’ word for it. But if you try this trick, report back in the “Comments” and let us know how it worked out!

Strawberries: They look sexy and you can draw attention to your lips while eating them. But did you know that strawberries not only increase blood flow to all the right areas, but the scent makes men think about sex? When I have a “friend” over and want to take his attention away from the TV, I whip up some chocolate dipped strawberries, then take a syringe and inject some white wine or champagne into them for a little extra oomph. It takes no more than 15 minutes to do, and this technique hasn’t failed me yet!

Wine: OK, so it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out booze makes people want to have sex. But if you’re looking for an all-night sex fest as opposed to a drunken five minute romp, limit yourself to two or three glasses MAX! It’s just enough to get you both warmed up and relaxed, without you falling off the couch or bed and making an ass out of yourself while trying your best moves.

Vanilla: This is another comforting scent, and according to another great website, gourmetsleuth.com, that friendly scent of vanilla increases feelings of lust! Vanilla is easy to find in many delicious treats, so just stick with the ones you personally find sexy. If licking on an ice cream cone sounds hot to you, then maybe a trip to Coldstone is in order on the way back to your place! Or, try some good ol’ scented candles when you get there. I found a vanilla birthday cake-scented candle at Target, a scent that several websites claim men love, and now I constantly have male co-workers hovering over my desk, telling me it smells like cake and ice cream. I guess the saying is true: the way to a man’s hard is through his stomach.

Honey: Honey is obviously sexy in its appearance and texture. That sultry shade of amber and sticky sweetness in all the right ways makes honey a lickable treat, especially when its drizzled atop a pair of soft breasts or washboard abs. But did you know that in ancient Egypt, honey was put in food and drinks to set the mood? That’s how we got the term “Honeymoon.” To get that same effect without the old ball and chain (or with them, whatever!), try drizzling apple slices with honey for a low-effort sweet treat. Or, for an extra lusty libation, go for some honey wine! (www.HoneyWine.com)

Young, blonde woman, drizzling honey into her mouth and onto her chest.

Cologne: Tickle a woman’s sense of smell with some good, fresh smelling cologne (NOT cheap cologne or anything spicy that will burn the inside of her nose, please!). I know this sounds like a cliché but I swear it works! For me, there’s just something about a guy that smells good that makes me wanna rip his clothes off with my teeth. Tom from Payroll wears Cool Water, and every time I caress his neck with my lips I catch a whiff and it drives me crazy! Hugo Boss, Aqua de Gio and Ralph Lauren Blue are also good ones to try.

Just know that everyone is different, so if one of these suggestions doesn’t work for you, don’t get discouraged. Do some experimenting of your own with these items and have fun with it. And if you find something real hot, then let us know in the “Comments” section.

To me, anything that can lead to getting some good sex is worth a try!

Just by an Angel…
With Holiday cheers

Ask Dr. Z by Victoria Zdrok

Dr. Zdrok

Dear Dr. Z,

I’ve always loved masturbation, but lately I have been losing control. I have been caught by my secretary masturbating at work, which may have had something to do with her quitting her job soon thereafter. If I see a beautiful woman on the street, I will often follow her while rubbing myself. And lately I have been masturbating in my brand-new Porsche, at stop signs or while parked at the mall. So far the reaction of the women who have seen me playing with myself has been encouraging – a few have even smiled – which has led me to want to do it more. I do realize that this may get me in trouble, so what should I do? Should I see a sex therapist?

Dr. Z answers

As my readers know, I have always been an ardent proponent of masturbation, but you need to find a way to curb your enthusiasm. Your masturbation has taken on a compulsive quality, and it appears you have developed an exhibitionism paraphilia – which is a risky business, because it’s only a matter of time before someone calls the cops. You will not only lose secretaries but potentially your driver’s license and even your freedom, if you are convicted for indecent public exposure. Write down the list of potentially negative consequences to your compulsive masturbation and read it to yourself daily. Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it hard every time you get an urge to expose yourself. Join the gym and get a hobby – it seems like you need some other passion in your life. And, yes, if that fails, see a therapist.

Dear Dr. Z,

My wife was very sexually inexperienced when we got married ten years ago. She was never really into sex and after a few years we were rarely having sex at all. I felt that I was losing my passion for her and even had a short-lived affair with my coworker, a very uninhibited woman with whom I frequently watched adult videos and read Penthouse. After I ended the affair, I felt that I also had to end this lull in my marriage one way or another, so I told my wife to go out and pick up a guy, bring him back to our house, and seduce him in our bedroom while I watched from our closet. Well, after some convincing, she did exactly as I had instructed: she brought a complete stranger into our bedroom and fucked him right before my eyes. Watching her with him is what rekindled my passion for my wife. I was reminded that I really love her and want her. The problem is, she really likes this guy and wants to continue to see him on a regular basis, and I feel jealous and want us to be monogamous again. Can you explain to me why this happened and how I can get my wife to be faithful to me again?

Dr. Z answers:

Nothing revives our passion for a spouse like a little jealousy! We never realize how much we want to keep something until someone else threatens to take it away from us. But do not confuse the feeling you are currently experiencing for your wife with “love.” When we love someone, we want them to be happy and your wife seems to be happier with some variety in her partners. Watching another man ravish your wife has stoked your lust for her, and what you are feeling is possessiveness and a fear that you will lose her. However, while you have now developed feelings of desire for her after all those passionless years – maybe because another man has sparked her previously missing libido – there may not be a way to turn back the clock. After all, you had an affair first and you insisted that your wife do the same. By doing so, you have redefined the terms of your relationship; there may be no way to bring back the pure exclusivity that you once rejected.

The only thing you can do is to stop trying to control your wife and allow her to explore the new found feelings she has for this man. Meanwhile, give her the affection, attention, and affirmation she was lacking while you were engaged in your liaison with another woman. Her infatuation for her lover will either wear off as the novelty of it subsides, or it will turn into something more. If the latter happens, you will have to decide whether to end your marriage or to join her in a lifestyle that involves a variety of partners. Many couples are into swinging or swapping, so that may be your only way to hold on to her if she finds the thrill of sex with strangers to be too much of an aphrodisiac to put aside. Either way, things will never be the way they once were between you, which is why I always counsel people to stop and think things through before injecting a third person into their relationship.

Dear Dr. Z,

My girlfriend is not big on oral sex. It takes a lot to convince her to give me head. When she does, she immediately stops when my pre-come comes out. She claims it doesn’t taste good and makes her gag. She has even mentioned that she might be allergic to it. Is that possible? And is there any way to keep the pre-come from dripping out until we have intercourse? I love getting head and would do anything to get her more into it.

Dr. Z answers:

It is highly unlikely that your girlfriend has an allergy to your come. Allergies to semen are very rare. And when they do occur, the allergic reaction – whether it’s from oral sex or vaginal intercourse – is accompanied either by a rash or an irritation. Since there is no way of keeping pre-come from leaking out, your only solution to the taste issue is to mask it by donning a condom (you can opt for a flavored one) or periodically dipping your penis in chocolate sauce or something else that will appeal to her. Drinking more water may also tone down the taste and thin out the consistency of your pre-come.

But I think that her reluctance to go down on you probably has some psychological roots – either from some childhood indoctrination about oral sex being dirty, or possibly a negative earlier experience. Talking about her prior experiences might bring these issues to the fore, which might help her get over her inability to enjoy giving you oral. Be understanding, and let her have all the time she needs to work through her psychological aversions. However, if she says she has blown her prior boyfriends and gobbled down their come without a problem, then she must be having some ambivalence about having sex with you. If this is the case, and if getting head is that important to you, you are better off getting a new girlfriend.

Victoria Zdrok’s combination of beauty and intelligence has earned her the label as “sexpert” in many media outlets. She writes a monthly column on love, sex, and dating for Penthouse Magazine entitled “Ask Dr. Z,” and a column on sexuality and the law for Penthouse Forum. She is a frequent contributor to several publications and has her own SIRIUS Satellite Radio specialty show, The Sex Connection, on Howard 101. You can find out more about Dr. Z at www.sexysexpert.com

Standing the Test of Time by Martin Downs, M.P.H., and Victoria Zdrok, Ph.D.

Relationships may be more complicated than ever, but the eternal truth is, sex is – and should be – good. In order to help you get the most out of your sex life, you need advice from experts on both sides of the bed: Martin Downs, M.P.H., and Victoria Zdrok, Penthouse Pet and Ph.D.

My parents divorced in my early teens, and it seems like most of my relatives and buddies are either divorced or heading there. I recently married a woman I’m crazy about, but the high of being with her is spoiled by my constant fears about our relationship not working out. Can you give a few general rules that will help our relationship last?

Dr. Martin Downs says:

The first rule is, don’t expect that “high” to last. Absolutely no one goes through life as husband and wife cooing at each other and making out all day. One day you’re soul mates, the next, you’re just her asshole husband and she’s a fucking bitch. To stay happily married, you have to decide to love each other through the lows, too.

The second rule is, banish from your mind any thoughts of your marriage “not working out.” Remember, when you got married, you vowed certain things. I suspect a lot of couples mumble through their wedding vows like they’re reciting the Pledge of Allegiance: They don’t really mean or even hear what they’re saying. But think about what you promised–to stay together, no matter what, till death do you part. Or did you solemnly swear to play house until you get sick of each other?

If divorce is so common among your family and friends, you might think that’s what everyone does when they’re not happy. Instead, you should think of it as the nuclear option, the D-bomb. Even when you’re pushed to the brink–and most couples get there sooner or later–don’t be the one to drop the bomb.

I don’t mean to be a total buzzkill about marriage; I just don’t want you to panic and do something stupid the first time you have a real marital crisis. Most of the time, things are going to be fine, even sweet. So rule number three is, think about something else. Fussing about relationships is for single people. Married people ought to be able to take the relationship for granted. You should be thinking about what you’ll be doing together next month or next year, not whether you’ll still be together.

Dr. Z says:

The fact that you’re trying to storm-proof your relationship is a good sign, since most men put little effort into their relationships. Most women need three things to keep them happy: attention, affection, and appreciation. Listen to your wife and express interest in what she says; show her you care by giving her cards, flowers, and other things that make most men gag; and express your love through hugs, kisses, and caresses.

You can significantly enhance your chances of relationship survival if you:

*Tackle the conflict; don’t avoid it.

*Put your wife before your job.

*Give each other room for independent interests.

*Help with housework.

*Have plenty of sex.

*Keep the in-laws from intruding.

Time to Face the Music? by Dr. Z

A reader asks:

I recently made a ginormous mistake by cheating on my girlfriend. It was a one-time lapse and really didn’t mean anything. I don’t want things to blow up, but there’s a slight chance that she might find out. Should I tell her my side before she hears it from someone else, or should I take a chance and hope I can get away with it?

Dr. Z answers:

If your indiscretion happened with a stranger on a business trip in a faraway city to which you traveled alone, that’s one kind of “slight chance.” If, however, you cheated with a friend of your girlfriend’s, that brings other elements of chance into play. If your transgression (or some part of it) was witnessed by people you and she both know, that’s a whole other set of factors to weigh.

If you are reasonably sure that no one could ever know-emails deleted, receipts destroyed, no photos taken-and if you can be trusted not to blab, then shut the lid on it and move on.

Otherwise, as you seem to already know, truth will out.

The only thing that could save you, if you really believe that this threatens to ignite a blowup, is your own remorse. But the power of remorse would be significantly weakened if she were to find out secondhand. Then, sorry or not, you’d come off as a deceitful punk.

If you lay the whole thing on her, telling her that you’re so consumed with guilt that you couldn’t possibly keep the truth from her, you might be able to save your skin.

Streaming Orgasm by Dr. Z

A reader asks:

Can a woman become a squirter? If so, how can this be brought about? Are there exercises that should be performed, a diet, specific stimulation? Or, if she were capable, would she have been able to do it already?

Dr. Z answers:

Most sex educators are pretty quiet on the subject of squirting. That’s because a lot of people still don’t believe that female ejaculation is real. Some insist that female ejaculation is no more than a loss of bladder control during orgasm, and that what squirts out is just plain urine. Indeed, to a casual observer, a woman squirting looks a lot like a woman peeing.

Having read up on the science and thought about this for many years, I accept the fundamentals of female ejaculation. A woman’s urethra is coddled in a gland called the urethral sponge, which some call the “female prostate,” because it’s anatomically similar to a man’s prostate gland. This female gland secretes a fluid that is chemically similar to semen, and has many tiny ducts that flow into the urethra.

When a woman “squirts,” she’s actually ejaculating through her urethra, in much the same way as a guy ejaculates through his urethra. (Of course, her spunk lacks sperm and various other ingredients of boy butter.) This female prostate gland is part of the legendary G spot. So those women who squirt tend to manage it by way of G-spot stimulation.

Numerous how-to books have been written on the subject, but in a nutshell, here’s how it’s supposed to work. First, she has to locate her G spot. It feels like a rough or ridged area on the inside wall of her vagina, near the top (when she’s lying down) or front (sitting upright), set an inch or so in from the vaginal opening. When she’s aroused, the spongy tissue becomes engorged and feels firmer to the touch.

G-spot jockeys generally say that it should be massaged with slow, firm pressure. One way to do that is to use a backward-curling “c’mere” motion with two fingers inserted in the vagina. A curved sex toy made for G-spot play could also achieve that effect.

As she responds to this stimulation and edges closer to orgasm, she might feel an urge to pee. At this point, she should not stop, but bear down and push out with her pelvic muscles as if she were trying to pee. At last, if she’s lucky, she might ejaculate.

Some female ejaculators gush great volumes of fluid. Others squirt only a little jet. And some don’t produce enough of anything to notice. Remember, it isn’t pee. Whatever the skeptics say, women who experience ejaculation insist that it’s obviously different from urination.

Some authors claim that all women can learn to ejaculate. I don’t know if that’s true. I am quite confident, however, that not all women want to learn.

Some female ejaculators say they find it empowering and ultra-erotic. Others say it’s just kind of neat. (I suspect these were the girls who excelled at gleeking in grade school.) But a great many more, I’m sure, could care less.

On the whole, it seems like a worthwhile project, because a woman and her partner could learn a lot about her body and how she responds sexually.