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Indecent Exposure by Dr. Z

A reader asks:

I enjoy having public sex whenever possible, and so far I’ve been able to convince most of my partners to go along with it. It’s such a thrill. Only lately, because of one reluctant partner, have I really thought about how much trouble we could be in if we get caught. Is it worth the risk?

Dr. Z answers:

You could get into plenty of trouble. Every state in the union has some kind of law against public indecency, or lewdness, or whatever they’ve chosen to call it. In most states, these offenses are misdemeanors that typically carry maximum sentences of a year in the clink, a fine, or both.

In some states, you could get into really big trouble if a kid younger than 15 (Arizona) or 16 (Florida and New Hampshire) happens to catch you in the act. Then you could face a felony charge and up to 15 years in prison if convicted.

By the letter of most state laws, it’s not illegal to have sex in a public place, per se, but it is illegal to be seen doing it. It’s the old “if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around” question. Arguably, if you get busy in a fast-food bathroom and no one walks in, then you haven’t committed a crime. (One exception I know of is the state of Georgia, which prohibits sexual acts in public places outright.)

Michigan has the nation’s weirdest law pertaining to public indecency. If you’re charged with indecent exposure, and the court considers you a “sexually delinquent person,” the offense is punishable by anywhere from one day to life in prison.

Legal definitions of public indecency can also extend to acts carried out in private places that are on view to the public. In big cities where everyone lives on top of and up against everyone else, I’d think it unlikely that you’d get arrested for “accidentally” leaving your blinds open to the view of a few apartments across the way. But if you turn on all the lights and do it in front of a picture window facing the street, you may very well hear the rap of a baton on your door in short order.

At the very least, both people involved in an act of public boinking should agree that it’s worth the risk. It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about the risk of a criminal charge or just plain embarrassment. It shouldn’t take any amount of convincing to get someone to go along with it. The public sexual encounters I’ve had weren’t planned. They just kind of happened. If you’re making plans to sneak around doing naughty deeds here and there, that sounds like an avocation. A graffiti artist, for example, wouldn’t want to go around tagging with a nervous Nellie who jumped at every shadow; a street racer wouldn’t want to take on an opponent who fretted over her driving record. So you should be doing it with a fellow enthusiast to get the most fun out of it.

This article originally appeared in Penthouse Forum.

Slingers Party by Greta Christina

Reviewer Greta Christina has worked in and around the sex industry for over a decade — writing about it, editing books about it, and living it. She edited Paying For It, a collection of articles by all kinds of sex workers: dommes, escorts, peep show girls, T-girls. Her novella called Bending is out in Susie Bright’s book Three Kinds of Asking For It (published by Simon & Schuster and can be found at amazon.com). In response to overwhelming member requests for reviews of sex toys, sexy films, and other sex whatnots, Ms. Christina brings her girl-about-sex wisdom twice monthly to Adult FriendFinder. You can check out Ms. Christina on her web site, gretachristina.com.

Sex Sling, $35.00
Super Sex Sling, $68.00
Available at Extreme Restraints, http://www.extremerestraints.com

This toy has one purpose, and one purpose only.

And it’s a very specific purpose. Unlike, say, a vibrator or a dildo, with their specific but still quite versatile purposes of “vibrate” or “penetrate,” this toy has an exact, rather narrow, not-at-all-versatile purpose.

The purpose of the Sex Sling is to help you keep your legs spread and your feet in the air, for pretty much as long as you want to.

Now normally, I’m not a big fan of sex toys with very specific functions. I feel that my budget is too tight, and my apartment too small, to be stocking up on butt plug/nipple clamp/ball gag combos, or vibrators that tickle the upper left side of your clitoris to the rhythm of the “Hallelujah Chorus.”

But, boy howdy, do I like this toy. And the narrowness of its function doesn’t bother me at all. After all, while a vibrator that tickles the upper left of your clit to the “Hallelujah Chorus” may be a very silly purchase for most people, it makes perfect sense if you know that’s what you like. And if, like me, you know that you like being on your back with your feet in the air and your legs spread as wide as they’ll go, then this is a toy you’re going to like a lot.

Here’s how the Sex Sling works. It’s very simple, actually. It’s a very long strap, with adjustable fake-fur ankle cuffs on both ends, plastic tension-lock adjusto-things for adjusting the length, and a padded thing in the middle. You put the cuffs around your ankles and the padded thing behind your neck, you tighten up the straps, and voila! Your feet are high in the air, held there by the tension of the strap. (Look at the pictures if this still doesn’t make sense.)

Sex Sling – Black

And you can stay there for a long time.

A very, very long time.

I don’t just love this toy. I feel like it was tailor-made for me. I love being spread open wide, with my pussy and my clit as naked and exposed as I can get them. It feels so filthy, so purely sexual. It makes me feel like I am my cunt, like the entirety of my consciousness is focused between my legs. It can make me feel delightfully helpless and submissive, like my clit is being forced out into the open to endure any depravity that might come. But it can also make me feel pampered and luxurious, like my clit is the center of the universe and nothing is more important than giving it what it wants. And when all the cylinders are firing together and everything lines up right, it can make me feel all these things at once. When I’m on my back, I feel like I can never get my legs spread wide enough.

But I’m also not a gymnast. I’m a fairly ordinary person — in reasonably good shape, gym twice a week and all that, and with a fair amount of strength and flexibility, but certainly no athlete. And without the help of this contraption, I can’t keep my legs up and out for more than a few minutes at a time.

With the help of this contraption, though, I’m finally free from the tyranny of my leg muscles. I don’t have to save the whole “feet in the air and knees by your ears” experience for those special few minutes when I want it the most. I can keep my legs up and out for just about as long as I want to.

And boy, do I want to.

Despite its outward appearance, the Sex Sling isn’t a bondage toy. With a little imagination, it could certainly be used as one — you could tether the leg straps to hooks on either side of the bed, just to give one example. But when you use it as is without any adaptation, you actually have quite a bit of maneuverability when you’re strapped into the thing. Your legs are hoisted into the air, but you can move them side to side with a fair amount of freedom: you can close them if you want to (although why you’d want to is beyond me), and you can open them as wide as you’re comfortable with. The straps help you spread yourself wider, and they help you hold yourself wide apart for longer, but they don’t force you to.

You can also shorten the straps up and slip them back down again, both to adjust to your height — the toy is designed to fit folks in a variety of heights, from under 5′ to over 6′ — and to suit your mood at the moment. If you want to pull your legs up super-high in a moment of passion, you can; if you need to relax back down and give your thigh muscles a break, you can do that, too. (I do have a small caveat on this point, which I’ll get to in a bit.) And if your legs or neck start to get sore, you can easily slip the neck pad out from under you, and give both your neck and your legs a break.

Oh, and speaking of people over 6 feet tall: Guys, the Sex Sling isn’t just for your girlfriends. You can use it, too. When you strap yourself into it, it leaves your cock and balls nice and exposed for oral sex (or genital torture, if that’s where you like to go), just like it does for the women and their pussies. And if you like prostate massages or getting fucked in the ass with a strap-on, the Sex Sling makes it a lot easier to do that and stay face-to-face. (This is nice for women who like it in the ass as well.)

This next bit may seem obvious, but it’s very important, so I’m going to mention it anyway. The Sex Sling puts quite a bit of pressure on the back of your neck — that’s how it works. And the tighter you pull the straps, the more intense that pressure gets. Therefore, if you’re prone to any kind of neck or back problems, this toy is probably not for you. Even if you don’t have neck problems, you may find that your neck is the limiting factor, the “just about” in the “you can keep your legs up and apart for just about as long you want” equation. I was able to stay in the Sex Sling for quite a while, but my neck did eventually get sore, and it gave out before either my legs or my pussy.

Now, depending on how your bedroom is set up, you might be able to string the Sex Sling through your headboard or bedframe. (There’s a customer comment on the Extreme Restraints website suggesting that you do exactly that.) But if your bed isn’t set up to make that work, you might just have to get a regular full-on sling if you want your legs in the air without the pain in the neck.

You may have noticed that there are two different versions of the Sex Sling: regular and Super. You may have even noticed that the Super is almost twice as expensive as the regular. And you may be wondering, “What makes the Super so gosh-darned super? What’s the big honkin’ difference?”

Super Sex Sling with Cuffs

The biggest difference (apart from price, that is) is the neck pad. On the regular Sex Sling, the neck pad is quite basic: just a flat, rectangular, fake fur pad that sits behind your neck. But the Super Sex Sling has one of those fat half-circle neck-cushion things, like the kind people use to sleep on airplanes. It spreads the pressure over a wider area, so your neck doesn’t get as sore, and it’s a whole lot more comfortable generally.

This cushion isn’t the 100% advantage it might appear to be. It does make the Super quite a bit bigger than the regular, making it harder to stash in a nightstand, much less a suitcase. And the smaller neck pad of the regular Sex Sling means you can slip the strap under your shoulders if it’s getting too hard on your neck — something you can’t really do with the Super. The cushion still makes the Super a much better toy, but it’s not a slam-dunk.

The other big difference — and this one is a slam-dunk — is that the Super model is a whole lot easier to adjust. With the regular Sex Sling, I found that while it was very easy to pull the straps up tighter and hoist my legs up higher, it was rather more difficult to loosen them up again. The adjusto-buckle thingies were down by the ankle cuffs, and they were kind of fiddly besides. So if I’d spread myself super-wide in a fit of passion, and now wanted to give my thighs a break from the intense stretch, I’d have to actually stop the action for a moment while I mucked around with the adjusto-bobbles.

But with the Super Sex Sling, the adjusto-guys are right there by my head, on either side of the neck cushion. And they seem to be more solidly built as well. So I can let my legs back down easily, as easily as I can yank them up. And this makes me feel a whole lot more relaxed about yanking in the first place. With the Super Sex Sling, I feel completely comfortable pulling my legs as high and as wide as they’ll go — because I know I can bring them down in a second if I need to.

There are a couple other differences between the two models — the cuffs and the cushion of the Super seem to be made of a softer, more velvety material, for one — but the adjustment doohickeys and the cushions are the real deal-breakers.

Of course, the price difference isn’t just a technicality. If you’re on a budget and you’re on the fence about this toy, the regular is a completely reasonable choice. It’s a perfectly wonderful toy, and if it turns out you don’t like it, it’s not so expensive that you’ll feel like a fool. But if the Sex Sling sounds like a wet dream come true to you, if you’ve been reading this review with one hand reaching for the credit card and the other shoved down your pants, then I’d lean towards getting the Super if you can comfortably afford it.


You can visit Greta’s blog or  her web site.

A “Somewhat Open” Relationship? by Tristan Taormino

I met Sara and Steve several years ago at one of my lectures. They have been married for eleven years and, throughout their marriage, they have had what they describe as a “somewhat open” relationship. Among their extracurricular activities in the past, they’ve had one swinging encounter with another couple and several threesomes with different women (Sara is bisexual). Plus, each one has had hook-ups while the other person was out of town.

For the past several weeks, Sara has been recovering from a major illness and hasn’t had the strength or been in the mood to go out or have sex. Recently, Steve met a woman at a local social event and she hit on him. While he flirted a little, he told her he was married, and they went their separate ways. Later that night, Steve relayed the story to Sara. Sara encouraged him, saying, “You could have told her we’re open and you could have gotten her number.” A week later, Steve told Sara that the woman contacted him and, again, Sara encouraged him to set up a date. A few days after she gave him the green light, Sara discovered that it was Steve who tracked down the woman, a fact that contradicted what he told her. She confronted him and he denied that he was the one who made the first move. When she pressed him again, he finally came clean and admitted the truth. He said, “I didn’t tell you because I thought you might have felt uncomfortable.” What upset Sara most is not that Steve contacted the woman first, but that Steve lied to her.

I believe that Steve’s intentions were not malicious. He says he was trying to protect her feelings, and he probably was. But, by putting the initiation of a potential new relationship onto the other woman and off of himself, he was also doing something else: denying his desire. His belief — that if he admitted he set things in motion, it would hurt Sarah’s feelings — may or may not be valid. However, his own discomfort and his assumptions are no excuse for dishonesty. What Steve needs to do is step up to the plate and admit his part in all of this. It’s too easy for him to deflect everything onto this other woman.

For open relationships to work, there must be open communication and people need to take responsibility for their desires and their behavior. Steve knew this intellectually, but was acting emotionally.

What also surprised me is how little negotiation happened after Steve admitted to a night of flirting. Sara simply said, “Go for it!” without thinking it through. I suspect that since she hasn’t been feeling well, she gave the thumbs up out of guilt or to put his needs ahead of hers; she admitted later that she wanted to give him “a break from playing nurse to me.” While we all want to make sure our partners are happy and satisfied, it’s also okay to be sick and need someone. Sara must examine what her true feelings are, give herself permission to be jealous or uncomfortable with the new situation, and come to terms with what she needs and wants.

If, after checking her own intentions, Sara still decided it was okay, there needs to be further negotiation. In this instance, Steve having a fling (ongoing or otherwise) would be an entirely new dynamic to their open relationship. Until now, the only hooking up that Steve and Sara did separately was when one of them was out of town. This woman lives in their area, which means she does not currently fit into their model of what’s acceptable. I’m not saying that because this new thing doesn’t fit, it should not be considered. But it needs to be considered a lot more carefully than it has been, because it would be a major change. With new terms come new rules, and their existing agreements about what’s okay and what’s not may need to be re-thought.

As they discussed the issue more, Sara realized that she wanted –– actually, she needed -– to meet the woman before Steve moved forward with a date. Sara wanted to put a human face to this mythical person and put any fears to rest that she might have dishonorable, evil, man-stealing home-wrecking intentions. (She admits she has an active imagination based on her anxieties!) I support people who want to meet their partners’ partners, especially if this side fling of Steve’s will be ongoing. I trust that my partner will select someone who will respect our relationship as primary and priority number one. However, sometimes lust gets in the way of someone’s better judgment. I always trust my instincts when I meet a new person, and if I smell drama, distrust, or bad boundaries, I let my partner know. Sara should have the opportunity to do the same.

When and if the new woman becomes a part of Steve’s life (and, by extension, a part of Sara’s), Steve and Sara need to continue to check in with one another about their feelings. They need to recognize that this is new territory for their relationship, and there will probably be some bumps in the road.

The important thing is not to repeat some of the all-too-common mistakes that they made right off the bat:

  • Don’t sugar coat or distort the truth in order to make someone feel better.
  • Don’t assume you know how your partner will react to something before you give them a chance to do so.
  • Don’t say “yes” to something without meaning it.
  • Do assert your needs in the situation.
  • Do respect each other and the rules you’ve set up.
  • Do be honest with yourself and your partner about your feelings and your actions.

Splish, Splash, Make Me Cum in the Bath by Diana Dillinger

Like most clean-but-dirty girls, I adore baths. Baths, showers, and hot tubs, actually ‒ anywhere that gives me an excuse to get naked, wet, and soapy. I’m pathologically addicted to holding my pussy up to the jets on a whirlpool tub. In short, I love the water. But when it comes to actual sexual intercourse, water is… tricky. I once laid out a great deal of money to foolishly engineer a romantic getaway that involved a pricey Jacuzzi suite and absolutely NO aqua-sex supplies. What a mistake! If I thought of lube at all, I probably figured saliva had gotten us this far. I assumed, from watching movies, that sex in the tub would be slippery and wet, but without a good silicone lube on hand, fucking was impossible. I will never forgot the sensation of crouching over my boyfriend’s cock, getting ready to sink my sweet, honeyed pussy down onto to it, and suddenly feeling my cunt screeching for mercy. It was the genital equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard. Who knew water could be so drying? It washes away all your natural lube and makes a pussy sliding down a cock practically SQUEAK with protest. I vowed that in the future, I’d bring better stuff along to make the most of the sexy waterplay! In honor of Wet and Wild August, here is my fantasy shopping list.

 

 

Eros Lube Original
Widely agreed to be the industry favorite in regards to wet sex, Eros Lube is silicone-based, which means that it won’t ‒ heck, can’t ‒ wash away in the bath. (It does wash off easily with the addition of soap, however.) This slippery lube makes your parts glide together and, as a plus, it’s also condom safe and hypoallergenic. It has sold more that 20 million bottles in its time. Don’t run a bath without it!

 

 

Fukuoku Finger Massage Glove

This fantastic little massage glove produces 45,000 vibrations per minute, which sounds like a swarm of angry bees but feels like heaven. Your partner will melt under the barrage of vibes coming from the five powerful fingertip massagers. Best of all, the entire package is waterproof, so you can bring it on into the tub with you!

 

 

Rubber Duckie Massager


This fetish-attired take on the traditional rubber duckie is good for a lot more than just a laugh. The tail and beak vibrate powerfully when you flip the switch, making this toy “grownups-only”! The duckie is fully waterproof and features a strong but quiet motor for your privacy.

Layaspot

This fun little ergonomic vibe is a German-crafted sex toy that delivers revolutionary pleasure in several different modes. It’s totally waterproof, so you can use it allll over, in every situation. Ladies, remember: a waterproof toy means never having to say you’re sorry for cumming all over the place. Let this vibe buzz you into a hot, creamy orgasm, then clean up with a little soap. You’ve never looked so glowing!

 

 

Shower Enema System

The appeal of playing with messes in the shower is that they won’t stay messes for long. Get your water play on with this convenient enema kit with a six-foot hose that attaches to your shower head. You can regulate the volume and temperature of the water to customize the sensations, and cleanup is a cinch.

PVC Playsheets


Our final suggestion for Wet and Wild August is this set of PVC playsheets, which are absolutely perfect for drenched, slippery, lubed-up sex of the wettest and wildest kind. Get crazy in the shower, then retire to these sheets so as not to wreck the bedding ‒ or, have your messy fun on the sheets first (whipped cream wrestling, anyone?), then stumble to the shower in post-orgasmic bliss to get yourself squeaky clean.

These are just a few of our fun ideas for bath time! Be sure to check out our online store for all kinds of sexy ideas and products to improve YOUR sex life.

Pussy Licker by Tristan Taormino

Tristan Taormino is the author of several sensationally sexy and informative books including Down and Dirty Sex Secrets, Pucker Up: A Hands-on Guide to Ecstatic Sex, and The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. These days Tristan has gone into porn production, starting with the release of Tristan Taormino’s House of Ass. For details, visit Tristan’s official website, www.PuckerUp.com.—

Every pussy has a story. Mine can tell countless tales of wagging tongues and a few of mouth-induced ecstasy. Like the time I shaved her completely bare, and the stroke of a tongue felt 10 times more intense. Her virgin voyage with vibration: Pocket rocket plus clit equals Yes. The auspicious occasion of her meeting two mouths at once. When her clitoral hood was pierced and, after weeks of healing, the first time she felt something flick against that tiny stainless steel barbell. She has met the mouths of mothers, masters, liars, and thieves. She’s had clothespins and metal clamps pinch her tender parts. She’s been pressed against the faces of angels and convinced she talked to the devil. She’s been around the block. She knows what she likes.

It’s no surprise to me that lots of women I’ve met rate receiving oral sex as their favorite sexual activity and the easiest way to make them come. Just as most men wouldn’t turn down a blowjob, girls will happily accept some lip-to-lip service. The tongue is a perfect tool to stimulate the clitoris–not too hard, not too soft, it can move quickly but gently. There is even a vibrator called “Tongue II,” which features a pulsating fuchsia rubber licker powered by several batteries to move back and forth with speed, precision, and no chance of getting lockjaw. Ah, technology.

The first time I had my kisser on another woman’s box, I assumed that I could just do what I thought I liked done to me. But once you’re down there, it’s a whole different story. It’s not just guys who have to learn what’s lip-licking good. Every chick’s coochie is unique, and so is the way she likes it licked. Some girls like broad, firm strokes with the wide middle (instead of just the tip), where the tongue is wettest and softest. Others prefer a darting game of cat and mouse on or around the clit. There are flickerings in up and down or circular motions, and slipping inside her hole is always an option. Drawing her clit into your mouth and sucking on it is, um, an acquired taste for the suckee, so ask before you do it. I had a girlfriend who liked to have her hood pulled back so I could plant one directly on her clit; this kind of close stimulation is too much in such a sensitive place for most women, but if she’s that kind of a girl, she will most likely tell you.

If you’ve watched some porn, hopefully you know not to take very many pointers from the pros on this subject. Why? Because in skin flicks, it’s all about showing the pussy, so performers are prompted to move their faces, and sometimes their tongues, to the side of where they really want to be. That’s why you often find yourself thinking, “What is he doing?” or “That can’t feel good; she’s nowhere near her clit.” I learned the other end of this firsthand, when filming my first adult video. In my first scene, I was trying to make magic with my mouth, and from behind the camera, John “Buttman” Stagliano barked, “Can someone explain to Tristan that when she buries her head in Ruby’s cunt, Ruby may be seriously enjoying herself, but I can’t see a goddamn thing?” I had to adapt to make a better movie, and I know my technique suffered for it!

Turning to the receiving end of the vulvic equation, I have a love-hate relationship with getting my cunt munched. In my early days, I was wholly unimpressed, but I guess 17-year-old guys haven’t exactly mastered the skill yet (and I hadn’t mastered the skill of mastering and showing them precisely what I want, either). I admit that there have been recent occasions when someone’s face was between my legs, and I felt like there was a bumper sticker on my forehead that read, “I’d rather be stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge.” In these moments, it’s not that it feels bad; it just feels too tame and does little to get my juices flowing or make my breath catch. When it’s good, it is divine. Add a finger or two and I am over the moon, legs shaking, the whole bit. But I’ve got a picky puss, and it’s tough to impress her.

As a dyke who plays on all teams, I’ve gone to bed with many straight men who, knowing my queer experience, think they have something to prove. More than once, I’ve had a guy go down like he’s attempting to break some kind of record. He assumes that because I have sex with women, I’ve probably gotten some of the best head of my life–he’s right–and he’s there to prove that he can muff dive with the big girls. He’ll risk neck strain, tongue sprain, and repetitive stress injuries he’ll have to explain to his doctor to make sure I get it good. While I applaud that kind of ambition and tenacity, sometimes I want to gently tug on his hair and say, “No, really, it’s OK, let’s just skip this part.”

Listen, dudes (and dudettes): it’s not about gender or sexual orientation. For me, there are several key ingredients to top-notch cunnilingus. First, shave your face; pussy is delicate! Put everything you’ve got into it; you’re not being x-rayed, and nothing says that your head must remain stationary at all times or you can’t put your whole face into the job. Speaking of which, there is one thing that, for me, separates the skippers from the captains: the nose. Some of the most orgasmic pussy licking I’ve ever received has featured the nose very prominently (and, if you have a rather prominent nose, even better!). I’m someone who likes more pressure, less flutter, and nose really does the trick. I also appreciate someone who explores every angle, technique, and intensity level, but you’ve got to know when to settle down, commit to a style, and work it till I scream. While this girl is happy to hand out A’s for effort, effort alone won’t cut it; I want to feel enthusiasm and devotion on the tip of your tongue. Literally. Make me believe that this is the last and best meal you will ever have on earth–it may well be.

Visit Tristan at http://PuckerUp.com

Stuffing the Broad by Diana Dillinger

With Thanksgiving behind us, it’s time to reclaim the real meaning of “stuffing the bird.” While I know this is an innocent phrase, I’m such a nympho that I can’t help fixating on the word “stuffing.” My dirty little mind goes straight to my own mouth, pussy, and ass. “Mmmm…I’d like to get properly stuffed this year,” I thought as turkeys got stuffed all over America, and immediately I started dreaming up plots to get my hungry holes stuffed-to-bursting.

I know a lot of people like to do their “stuffing” play with fists, but I’ve always preferred toys to keep that element of self-control. This means I’m going to need a couple of toys, and I’m going to need a research assistant to help out. (As you may or may not know, I have a constant parade of research assistants coming and going in my life. They are diverse, but they always share these characteristics: They are smart. They are sexy. They are friendly. They play safe.)

For the toys, I’m hitting ExtremeRestraints.com, a website that partners with AdultFriendFinder.com to bring you the best and hottest sex toys on the market. I contact them through the proper channels and ask for the five special items that are going to make this story great. They say YES. For the helper, I get on the phone and give Brandon a ring. He’s low-key yet sexy, has helped me before, and reliably makes me drool. I explain the set-up, and he cheerfully agrees to come over, strip down, and help his good pal Diana get stuffed like a turkey. As soon as the toys come, we can start to cum!

Toy 1: LUBE APPLICATOR

My first reaction:
“Ooooh, it’s just like a turkey baster!”

Why we used it:
Proper lubrication is essential for any kind of play where there is going to be stretching, friction, or pressure.

What happened:
“Ass up, face down, Diana,” drawled Brandon, so I dropped my sexy little drawers and pointed my bottom skywards. He screwed the nozzle on, dipped the applicator deep into a bottle of Eros lube, and squeezed a good amount up into my pussy. I squealed with approval ‒ what woman hasn’t wished she could get the lube more up inside herself? ‒ and Brandon used the opportunity to squirt a second syringe-full of lubricant up my butt.

Our opinions:
Diana: “Radical. I am fully and deeply lubed. Bring on the other toys!”
Brandon: “It was really fun and easy to fill Diana’s holes up with the lube. No muss, no fuss!”

 

Toy 2: INFLATABLE DILDO
http://www.extremerestraints.com/inflatable-dildo_156.html

My first reaction:
“It gets… even bigger?”

Why we used it:
In spite of this dildo’s imposing looks, inflatable toys are all the rage for achieving that “super-full feeling,” which some people adore. We wanted to see what the buzz was about.

What happened:
Brandon set me up on my back with my legs pulled up slut-style to accept this giant toy. It’s a heavy-duty eight incher that can pump up to a greater width. The dildo slid in nicely, and filled me up, which is when I started to have doubts about inflating it. But Brandon, who was in charge of the bulb, had no such doubts! “Relax and accept it, Diana,” he said, pumping away as the dildo swelled, stretching me out. We spent a very pleasurable 20 minutes or so inflating it to full capacity, then rocking my body back and forth on it until I finally screamed in ecstasy.

Our opinions:
Diana: “This thing is absolutely wicked. Please do not bring it out at parties. I will not be able to control my desires.”
Brandon: “Diana went mad for this dildo. The look alone — she went nuts over the fetish-y look and the veins. Once I inserted it and starting pumping, it was all over. She loves being pumped FULL.”

Toy 3: INFLATABLE RUBBER PENIS GAG
http://www.extremerestraints.com/inflatable-rubber-penis-gag_519.html

My first reaction:
“That thing is making me drool helplessly.”

Why we used it:
I have an uncontrollable oral fetish. I couldn’t resist ordering this toy off of Extreme Restraints.

What happened:
What happened was that I found out that there is a dramatic difference between 1.25 inches (the width of the penis gag when it is not inflated) and 2 inches (the width of the penis gag when it is utterly ruling my brain). That’s right… I’m a mouth slut. And the more my mouth is stuffed, the sluttier I get. This gag strapped onto my head and then swelled up just like a real cock getting erect… yum.

Our opinions:
Diana: “My pussy got soooo wet when Brandon stuffed this pumped up toy inside my mouth. Being orally stuffed is total gratification for me.”
Brandon: “During sex, Diana is a well-known babbler but she couldn’t say a WORD when I puffed this thing up to the max. Her cheeks were bulging but she had a content look in her eyes. That girl loves to suck on the cock… real or fake… she doesn’t even care.”

Toy 4: ENEMA SYRINGE
http://www.extremerestraints.com/enema-syringe_168.html

My first reaction:
“Uhhh. Brandon. I was actually meaning to use this on you. Hey… Brandon… are you even listening to me?”

Why we used it:
Industrial is sexy. Metallic is sexy. Super-industrial polished-metal enema accessories are the sexiest of all! This baby has a super-cool plunging mechanism that sends eight ounces of flow straight up your rectum.

What happened:
Brandon dominated the discussion and somehow convinced sex-addled me to accept the enema. (This would have never happened had I not just cum from the inflatable dildo.) I was sweet-talked into letting him flush several ounces of warm water up inside me. Once I was fully stuffed and nicely cleaned out, I voided my bowels like a good girl.

Our opinions:
Diana: “I was NOT into the idea of getting an enema today, but this toy gave me that full feeling I crave. It felt good to just submissively accept the strong flow of water.”
Brandon: “I knew she’d love it. And now she’s totally clean for the final toy.”

Toy 5: PYREX BUTT PLUG
http://www.extremerestraints.com/pyrex-butt-plug_1630.html

My first reaction:
“That’s the prettiest, sexiest little thing I’ve ever seen.”

Why we used it:
Because I needed to get my pretty ass plugged to truly consider myself “fully stuffed.”

What happened:
Brandon gently warmed me up with some gloved fingers and made sure that the lube was still deep inside my asshole from the lube applicator. (It was.) After a little preliminary stretching, he worked three thick inches of this butt plug up inside of me. When my ass is stretched really hard, I feel it’s easier to cum, since I’m already straining hard over something…then, being urged in the direction of an orgasm is faster and more intense. Brandon knows this perfectly well, so he strummed my clit hard while wiggling the plug until I completely gave up and had a mind-blowing orgasm right in his lap.

Our opinions:
Diana: “It’s such a girly thing to say, but I love the pretty red-and-amber tones of this piece. Pyrex is also simple to clean and sterilize.”
Brandon: “Oh, come off the aesthetics…you love this plug because it got you off big-time.”
Diana: “Okay, okay! It’s true. I loved being stuffed just as much as I thought I would.”

 

SAFETY TIPS
Regarding inflatable gags: Always make sure your partner is able to breathe. Do not over inflate gags.

Regarding insertable toys: Always use lubricant. Always cover toy with a condom. Always clean after use.

Giving Great Aphrodisiac

Angel Rios is our lively tips and trixxx maven at Adult FriendFinder.

I’m the type of girl who’s always down for the occasional roll in the hay, or sand or snow — whatever happens to be around. But some people may require an extra “nudge” in the right direction every now and then. Take for instance Tom, my fuck buddy from payroll. He’s probably the sexiest guy in the whole company: great tan, six pack abs and full pouty lips he uses in all the right ways. Two sexy people hooking up in the bathroom at work is nothing out of the ordinary, at least not in my world, but it’s more than just coincidence that one minute Tom is busily working at his desk, and the next he is overcome with the urge to slide his hand up my skirt.

I like to think the reason for his sudden urges is a little secret weapon I like to call the modern day aphrodisiac (well I also like to think flaunting my DD’s every chance I get helps). Only in Webster’s dictionary is the aphrodisiac a little stiff — “an agent that arouses or is held to arouse sexual desire” — but generally, the aphrodisiac is all about making others stiff, and it must be doing something right. These tricks, on my short list coming up, have been used for centuries to enhance sex drive. Montezuma supposedly drank goblets full of chocolate to keep his libido ablaze. It was and still is an old wives tale that cacao, the bean used to make chocolate, gets people in the mood for some action.

Scientists have proven that there is something to the tale, because chocolate contains a chemical called phenyl ethylamine, which emulates our body’s own endorphins to give us a feeling of excitement and euphoria. So why shouldn’t it help someone along on the road to horny, given the right circumstances (oh, say, a voluptuous co-worker gliding in front of your desk)? And Tom thinks I’m just being nice when I offer him the “extra” chocolate croissant the guy at Starbucks put in my bag this morning. Share the love, I say!

I know what you’re thinking; chocolate is the oldest trick in the book. That’s why everyone gives it on Valentines Day, right? Well, here are a few less obvious suggestions you may not have thought of:

Pumpkin and Lavender: I know it sounds strange, but this combination has also been supported by scientific testing. Some research has found increase blood flow to the male genitals when this concoction is smelled or eaten. Since it’s the holiday season, why not use your baking skills to help you get a little action. Try finding a good recipe for pumpkin tarts, then just add a pinch of lavender (find it in the herb section at the supermarket) into the mix, as well as on top, for some extra aromatics. Remember, just a little or the scent will be too strong! When it comes to sexy subterfuge, subtlety is all. By adding zest to the traditional pumpkin pie recipe, you can enjoy all that “gratitude” for the pumpkin without reminding him of Thanksgiving at Grandma’s house. (Let’s face it, if the thought of hearing about Uncle Larry’s bladder problems over mashed potatoes and gravy gives him a boner, what he needs is therapy, not sex!)

Black Licorice:
While looking to see what stealth tactics other adventurers might use, I found a really great article on Medicinenet.com which suggests the smell and taste of black licorice. They claim it really sets the ladies on fire because it increases blood flow to the vagina, getting them all nice and warmed up for ya! Next time you take in a movie, skip the popcorn and go straight for the Good n’ Plenty, and maybe she’ll be up for a little “playtime” afterwards. Since I couldn’t get over the fact that I can’t stand black licorice in order to become the lovely test girl for this theory, I’ll have to take the experts’ word for it. But if you try this trick, report back in the “Comments” and let us know how it worked out!

Strawberries: They look sexy and you can draw attention to your lips while eating them. But did you know that strawberries not only increase blood flow to all the right areas, but the scent makes men think about sex? When I have a “friend” over and want to take his attention away from the TV, I whip up some chocolate dipped strawberries then take a syringe and inject some white wine or champagne into them for a little extra oomph. It takes no more than 15 minutes to do, and this technique hasn’t failed me yet!

Wine: OK, so it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out booze makes people want to have sex. But if you’re looking for an all night sex fest as opposed to a drunken five minute romp, limit yourself to two or three glasses MAX! It’s just enough to get you both warmed up and relaxed, without you falling off the couch or bed and making an ass out of yourself while trying your best moves.

Vanilla: This is another comforting scent, and according to another great website, gourmetsleuth.com, that friendly scent of vanilla increases feelings of lust! Vanilla is easy to find in many delicious treats, so just stick with the ones you personally find sexy. If licking on an ice cream cone sounds hot to you, then maybe a trip to Coldstone is in order on the way back to your place! Or try some good ol’ scented candles when you get there. I found a vanilla birthday cake scented candle at Target, a scent that several websites claim men love, and now I constantly have male co-workers hovering over my desk, telling me it smells like cake and ice cream. I guess the saying is true, the way to a man’s hard is through his stomach.

Honey: Honey is obviously sexy in its appearance and texture. That sultry shade of amber and sticky sweetness in all the right ways makes honey a lickable treat, especially when its drizzled atop a pair of soft breasts or washboard abs. But did you know that in ancient Egypt, honey was put in food and drinks to set the mood? That is how we got the term “Honeymoon.” To get that same effect without the old ball and chain (or with them, whatever!) try drizzling apple slices with honey for a low effort sweet treat. Or for an extra lusty libation go for some honey wine! (www.HoneyWine.com)

Cologne: Tickle a woman’s sense of smell with some good, fresh smelling cologne (NOT cheap cologne or anything spicy that will burn the inside of her nose please!). I know this sounds a little cliché, but I swear it works! For me, there’s just something about a guy that smells good that makes me wanna rip his clothes off with my teeth. Tom from Payroll wears Cool Water, and every time I caress his neck with my lips I catch a whiff and it drives me crazy! Hugo Boss, Aqua de Gio and Ralph Lauren Blue are also good ones to try.

Just know that everyone is different, so if one of these suggestions doesn’t work for you, don’t get discouraged. Do some experimenting of your own with these items and have fun with it. And if you find something real hot — let us know in the “Comments” section.

To me, anything that can lead to getting some good sex is worth a try!


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