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Men's Dating Tips >
How To Attract Beautiful Women
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How To Attract Beautiful Women
By Melissa Balmer
Copyright © 2006, Seduction Insider, www.seductioninsider.com.
One of the biggest mistakes many men`s dating advice publications make is in their advice about beautiful women. I’ve read over and over again, on one website after another, that “beautiful” women are a totally different breed from regular women, and therefore a totally different set of rules applies to meeting and attracting them. As a woman, who’s been called beautiful herself, I can honestly say that this is often false advice, and following it will only continue to cause many men problems.
What our competitors will have you believe is that gorgeous women have big, oversized egos from the constant attention they receive everywhere they go, and thus the only way you’re going to show yourself off as separate from the rest of the pack of wolves after them, is to be that now famous, and completely over used phrase “cocky & funny.”
Here are some reasons why this just isn’t the case:
People, even very attractive ones, are individuals and therefore one rule never applies to all beautiful women. Treat each beautiful woman you’re attracted to as the individual she is and you’ll be far ahead of the game, and far more observant as to what the right actions to attract her will be.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just because you find a woman stunning doesn’t mean that every other guy out there does as well. Too often men assume a woman they find attractive must be constantly hounded day and night by men for dates and therefore decide not to ask her out themselves. Some attractive women are intimidating to men and therefore they spend a lot of time single because guys just can’t get up the nerve to ask them out.
Women have notoriously poor self-esteem about their attractiveness – even the most beautiful. When you use a "cocky & funny" routine on a woman who doesn’t think “she’s all that” and your emphasis is on cocky (a mistake many men make), rather than funny, she just thinks you’re a conceited jerk. On the other end, if you`re trying too hard to be funny, she might think you`re either gay, or desperate, or a 40 Year Old Virgin.
Okay, so before I moved forward and give you tips on how to find and approach the type of women you find beautiful, I do need to address one specific type of women who are held up as the kind “ideal” for guys to prove their game on.
Yes, there is a certain type of attractive woman (she’s not always beautiful, but she’s always very well groomed and dressed, and has a very hot body) who’s a social butterfly, who frequents all the hot spots with her bevy of other attractive girl friends, and rarely if ever has to pay for a drink. You see them laughing and dancing with their group of friends, and your libido pines for them, and you watch as one outsider guy after another gets shot down with a dirty look even before he has the chance to talk to her, and you want to know how to land such a woman. My question to you is “are you sure you want to bother?”
No, I’m not suggesting you wuss out if you really want to go for it, but I am suggesting you use your larger head for a moment. Women make the mistake of meeting a nice guy and deciding she can mold him into the perfect man for her (which he ends up resenting in the end). Men, on the other hand, make the mistake of going after a total sexy night owl, and then expect her to stop going out at night, and to dress more conservatively once they’re dating. Which she totally resents.
So before you go for the beautiful, sexy, social butterfly you need to ask yourself a few tough questions. If you rarely go out dancing, or partying, and just want to bag her for the game, you’re better off leaving her be and searching for beautiful women in places you feel more at home. Especially if your goal is to have more than one date with her.
Where to Meet Beautiful Single Women
Beautiful women are actually everywhere if you’ll keep your eyes open and your radar up, but once they pass their early twenties many men get so obsessed with the minutia of their lives they forget that single women might be in places other than bars or nightclubs.
Beautiful women are usually very well groomed and put together women (not always, but usually). That means they frequent the hair salon and shop for clothes. Your local hip hair salon, and the better malls and shops in your area are terrific places to meet women that men (once they’re past high school) rarely think of. Beautiful women also like to learn. Women are now out numbering men at college (in my home town there are four women to every man on campus) and usually out number men in all kinds of adult education and specialty courses. Travel is also a great way to meet beautiful women. There are all kinds of single cruises, hikes, and ski trips (among others) that are now organized just for singles. Why not try one? I recently met a man who got up the nerve to plunk himself down on the seat next to the most beautiful woman on the bus for a ski trip, and after six straight hours of talking they ended up together for a few years.
How to Attract Beautiful Women
Be neutral in your approach. Be friendly, but don’t fawn after her. Treat her like a normal person. Don’t be arrogant or rude either, and only use humor if you know you’re really good at it (remember everyone has their own sense of humor).
Don’t rush in blind. Observe as much as you can about her before you speak to her. Use something about her to start a conversation. If she’s carrying a book ask if she’s enjoying it. If she looks lost ask if you can help with directions.
Ask for her help. If you see a beautiful woman at a store who you’d like to talk to ask her for her opinion or help. Try not to make up an elaborate lie that could get you into trouble (like making up siblings you don’t have). It’s best to stick to something you really would like to know about – like a cooking, wine, or fashion tip.
Once you start up a conversation with her pay careful attention to her body language. If she keeps her words hurried and her body pointed away from you she’s in a hurry to move on to with something else, if instead she gives you her full attention, and leans her head to one side while talking to you she may be flirting and you can ask her out for coffee to extend the conversation.
Be a good listener. It’s said that men are attracted through their eyes and women through their ears – but that doesn’t mean the man has to run away with the conversation. Too many men use the first conversation (or email) with a woman to brag about his accomplishments in order to impress a woman, and sadly, the more attractive a woman is to a man, the more he’ll often brag. Don’t. Do your best to have the conversation be a good volley back and forth. Don’t ask so many questions she feels she’s being interviewed, but don’t let her talk so much that she’s afraid you actually have nothing to say.
Up your game to match the women you want. Don’t think a woman is going to discover the real you under your out of date clothing and sloppy appearance – if you attract a woman who wants to make you over realize it’s not necessarily going to be in a manner that you like. Clothes and don’t make the man, but they give him a chance.
Don’t rush at her. If you had a great conversation in a store, or over coffee, or on a bus, or in the rain or on a train…that doesn’t mean that she’s now your girlfriend and you own her. Or that you should shower her with devotion. Don’t send her flowers, don’t call her three times in two days, and do not send her several emails in one day. When dealing with a woman you find amazingly attractive do all you can to keep your cool and your equilibrium. Remember you’re a great catch too. If you promised you’d call later in the week to see if she’s up for the concert on Sunday call her on Thursday – don’t call her on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Ask her on dates, and be your best on the dates. Make them fun and different. Take her taste into account, not what you think would be “ideal.” In between the first few dates have very little contact with her. Keep the emails short and sweet, and keep some mystery about you.
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