Knock Out Negativity

Want to be awesome at both meeting and dating beautiful women? Want to be successful at setting goals (in any area of your life) and then accomplishing them? Want to reach for the stars and create a rewarding, interesting life that has you leaping with eager anticipation out of bed in the morning? The answer is quite simple. You’ve got to knock out the negativity in your life before it knocks out you.

So what`s holding you back from being awesome with women?

Your head, dude.

The challenge for most of us is that negativity is such an insidious part of our every day life we don’t even realize its heavy-handed influence. We’re so use to hearing bad news on T.V., in the newspapers, on radio, from our family, from our friends, and from within our own heads that we don’t understand there’s a different way to operate, and that different way to operate is to program our minds with powerful, positive thinking.

How do you know if negativity is weighing you down? Whenever you hear the word “no”, or “you can’t”, or “it’ll never happen” in your head (or out of the mouths of those around you) negativity is ruling your day. Whenever you’re filled with fear and dread instead of excitement at the prospect of trying something new you’re longing to do – like asking out the hot new receptionist, or the girl in your science class – negativity is ruling your day. Whenever you’re tired for no good reason, just feeling blah, jealous, or hating your life, negativity is ruling your day (or even your life).

So how do you knock out negativity? Les Brown is right, you have to program your life, and that means you literally have to program in an upbeat positive view of things (including yourself). For every discouraging negative thought that comes into your head you have to have a positive one to flatten it, and you have to hit that negativity again and again and again to finally get rid of it. You may have to box with that negative thought hundreds of rounds before you finally win the championship – but every punch you throw towards creating your own positive view of the world and yourself is worth it.

The real challenge with negativity is that it can come from anywhere – even from those who are supposed to care for and support us the most.

Here’s the deal. You can’t pick your family. That was decided for you. With your family you’ve got to make the best with the hand you were dealt, but with your friends it’s different. You have a choice, even if it’s a tough one. And yeah, it can be very tough to make the choice to let go of, or greatly curtail, friendships that no longer serve you. First off, these may be people you really care about, people who’ve been there through tough times with you. Secondly, their negativity might be hard to pin down because it comes in the form of “sound advice”, or their negativity towards you may never be pointed directly to your face – however – they might have little good to say about you behind your back.

In order to figure out if your friendships are bringing you up or bringing you down you’ve got to follow your gut. You’ve got to listen to how you feel right now, not in some golden memory of the past. Does hanging out with your friends make you feel good, or fill you with dread? Are you excited and happy to share your ideas and dreams with your different friends, or are there some with whom you hold back with for fear of being snubbed or given the reasons why “they won’t work?”

You’ve also got to ask yourself if your friends are all people you’d be proud to introduce to a new woman you’re dating. Are these people who will reflect well on you, or are they people you’ll have to make excuses for?

Still not sure? Then it’s time to go on a bit of a friendship diet. Instead of following your same old routine with your pals spend a couple of weeks focusing your free time on some project you’ve been meaning to do for awhile now but haven’t. It doesn’t matter what it is so long as it’s positive, and you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment when it’s done. It would be wonderful if you’d spend at least part of this time actually focusing on meeting new women, or asking out women you’ve had your eye on for quite some time.

During this time cut down your news to one format per day. If you normally both watch and listen to the news on T.V. and the radio pick either one or the other. You now have more free time to meet new women.

Unfortunately lunchtime with our colleagues and work buddies can be one big negativity fest full of nothing but gossip and complaining. Look at the situation honestly. Is this what happens during your lunches? Try cutting out these lunches for a couple of weeks. Tell your pals you’re saving up for something special and eat lunch at your desk with a good book that feeds your mind and gets you excited about your life again.

Half way through the experiment you’ll probably be missing your pals sorely and want to give in and go grab a beer. Do your best not to give in. Ask yourself what the problem is. Do you miss your friends because you enjoy their company and spending time with them, or do you miss them because you’re bored hanging out with yourself? If you miss them because you’re bored with yourself, ask yourself why it’s so difficult to hang out with plain old you. Frankly, if you don’t like hanging out with yourself, do you think a really great woman’s going to want to? Not likely. The more challenging you find it to hang out with yourself the more negativity’s got you in its grip and the more it’s time to change your programming now.