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Men's Dating Tips >
New Advice from Vivid Girl Monique Alexander!
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Dear Monique: I am a girl who is very curious about being with another girl and have been fantasizing about it for a long time, but I don't know where to start. I would never go to a gay bar, I am too shy. I tried looking on personals sites but when it comes time to meet I am always too shy. I am also worried that I wouldn't know what to do with the other girl (I wouldn't be good for her). Do you have any advice for a first time girl-girl? How do I meet the right girl and get over my shyness?
Monique answers: Just like you I had fantasies about being with women and sometimes my girlfriends, and I would kind of fool around (most of the time after a few drinks) but we never had sex, just kissing and exploring. Do you not have any girlfriend that you can do that with? That made it much easier for me, but just like you I was still scared when it came down to having sex with another girl.
I also didn't know what I was doing, so I let her know it was my first time with another girl and that I was nervous. She then helped me, and told me the things she liked, what she didn't like, and so on. I also thought of the things I like to have done to myself and then I tried them on her.
Now as for meeting the right girl - or any girl for that matter - you have to get over your shyness or it's never going to happen. What I like to do to boost my confidence is get all glammed up, that always makes me feel better. So, put on your favorite outfit, do your hair and makeup the way you like, and you should be beaming with confidence and ready to take on anything. This always works for me, and I hope it works for you - so get out there and get yourself a girl!
Dear Monique: About a year ago I was in a very bad motorcycle crash. Since then I have not been as active and thanks to the pain and medication I am on I have gained over 30 pounds. My girlfriend has been very supportive thru all this but now I am very embarrassed...I am so overweight now I no longer feel comfortable naked around her. It is affecting our sex life and I don't know what to do. I am trying to lose weight but it's hard because of the medication and the pain. What should I do?
Monique answers: Well, the first thing you should do - if you haven't already done so - is make sure your girlfriend knows how much you love and appreciate her, and that the reason you guys are not having sex isn't because of her, it's because of your accident. Let her know how unhappy you are with your weight gain. You need to share your feelings with her about this. I know it's hard for guys to share their feelings but if you don't want to lose her, then you need to talk to her about this. If you don't, she won't what's bothering you. She obviously loves and cares for you and wants to help you get through this.
As for losing the weight I'm not sure what time of exercise you can do, but see if she's willing to help you and do it together. If can't exercise because of your injuries, the best way to lose weight is watching what you eat. Ask your doctor what exercises are good for you and do them. The only way you're going to build your confidence up again is if you make an effort to improve yourself, and I believe you can do that, so get out there and show yourself that you can do it!
Dear Monique: My boyfriend and I are interested in swapping with another couple but I am afraid I would be too jealous when I see him with another girl! I am half excited and half scared. Do you have any advise?
Monique answers: DONT DO IT! I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but if you are already having doubts or thoughts that you might get jealous, then you most likely will.
If I'm in a relationship where I love the person and I'm completely committed to them, then there's no way in hell I could share them. Swapping partners is not for people or couples who get jealous. You are just looking for trouble. You need to sit down and really think about this and decide if this is something you really want to do. You need to ask yourself whose idea was it in the first place - yours, or his? Once you find that out, you'll find the answer your looking for.
Do you have a probing question for Monique? Post your question in the comments, and she just might answer yours!
To see more of Monique Alexander, visit www.vivid.com.
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