By Jackson Morris
Copyright © 2006, Seduction Insider, www.seductioninsider.com.
Nice guy syndrome is more than folk psychology - it is a disease. It has been called the Disease to Please. It is the endless effort to always do the right thing for others and be unselfish.
When nice guys have the disease to please a female to promote intimacy it usually ends up with the nice guy finishing last.
Nice guy syndrome usually starts with a guy courting a girl who appreciates him so much that she hurls him into the friend zone with both arms. She knows he won't be mad, even if he was mad it is not as if he would say anything. Speaking out would be against the nice guy union rules.
Nice Guy Syndrome (Quarantine)
Some guys are in the friend zone before they even know they are, and are often sent back there as if it were their first time.
Men - wake up! You know if you got game or not. Don't be a cherry picker. You know what a cherry picker is? It is the easy target, the lazy way. Just because some girl gives you kind attention does not mean you have the skills to break out of the zone.
Most especially, if your first real quest is after a close girl-friend and you have not been on a date or asked a girl out in some time you could potentially strike out & ruin the friendship. When a girl is being kink to you, you must develop the skills to decipher what is friendship and what is flirting.
When you can understand these subtleties: then you will know when you are about to enter the FUN ZONE as opposed to the FRIEND ZONE.
Being a good lover is not as important as being a good communicator.
Being a good communicator can make you a better lover but being a good lover does not make you a better communicator.
Know where you stand with a female and even make her do some of the work (see more articles on this site, there are hundreds) so that when you go to bat she does make you whiff some NICE GUY pitch.
Testing, Testing, Testosterone
Some people believe (me too) that being a nice guy or having the syndrome is directly related to low levels of testosterone.
Testosterone is a steroid hormone that enhances libido (sex drive), energy and even boosts the immune system. There is no clinical correlation between low testosterone levels and not being able to bag a beauty. I will say that if you are a guy with low levels of testosterone and you go out to places with guys that have high levels of it then you will not stand out and by default alone will disappear into the wood work - nice guy or not.
Many men who get labeled "the nice guy" (you know who you are) find themselves blaming the girls for not "appreciating" them or "seeing" that there is more to you than "meets the eye". Nice guys don't have less stamina than other men but they have less charisma than other men. If confidence is "soil" then charisma is the "flower" that grows from it.
Without charisma, rarely can confidence be seen or noticed. Of course the "strong silent type" like my editor after a seven day binge of sex and alchohol can "will" the love out of a girl.
Escape From The Friend Zone (Or Die Trying)
So, do you want to break out of the friend zone? Do you want to be more than a friend? Do you want to be a nice guy who finishes first? Do you want a new identity, young Aniken Skywalker?
Then go to the gym and start pumping the confidence machine. And I don't care who you are and what your background is: If you train at a gym regularly then you will be more confident…period. But the only way to gain confidence, is to simply make it a focus of every breathing moment of your life. Every situation you go into, your goal is to do so confidently, and become more confident for the next situation you are in.
Then, start working on your charisma. However, charisma will not be found at the gym, it will be found inside your head and your head won't believe it until your eyes start to see it. You will notice a change and so will other people. When that recognition comes in is when your mental bank account is beginning to grow.
Step two is to step up! Once your confidence is starting to show - go for the gold. Start practicing your "skills" on girls (not girl-friends) and if you can, study their responses. If they treat you with diplomacy or like a "brother" then you are STILL in the NICE GUY prison.
If you are hell bent at going to bat on a girl-friend then I suggest going off the deep end.
She probably already has labeled you with the nice guy tattoo and you want to show her you can be bad too. Well, you might have to. I am not saying be mean to convince her you are worthy; I am saying treat her like a bad boy would and she might buy in. One way to convince a girl you are not a nice guy is to quit KISSING HER ASS!
In summary if you want to get out of the nice guy corral you better break out with guns blazing and foul language. Nice guys "care too much" what a woman thinks.
The rest of us get to sleep with her. And she's great in the sack. She really knows how to take it.
