Do You Need an Extreme Makeover?
Part 3 – Changing Step By Step

Mindfully, slowly, step by step. Oh sure, we’ve all seen the great overnight make-overs on T.V. and in the movies, but in real life the kind of changes that take hold and become a part of our being are the kind that we make carefully and thoughtfully. We want changes to go from being “changes” to being a “natural part” of our new selves. Think about it, if you decide one day that you’re no longer going to be a couch potato and run off to the gym for a massive work out the next day you’ll only end up so stiff and sore you can’t get off the couch again, right? The way to get into shape is by slowly increasing your work out day by day and it’s the same with any other big change you want to make in your life – especially when you’re dealing with your love life (or lack there of).

Moving slowly not only allows you to more easily accommodate the new attitudes, ideas, plans etc. into your life, it also allows you to see what’s isn’t working before it spirals out of control in the wrong direction so that you can modify your game plan before things get too out of control. While it’s true that we never get a second chance to make a first impression, we do have the ability to totally change another person’s image of us through seeing us behave in a new way on a consistent basis. Few people go from being on the very fringes of being acknowledged to popularity over night but every year in every school and every business around the world some guy or gal is slowly and carefully plotting their way to the in crowd. I’m sure you’ve seen it happen, but I bet you didn’t even realize someone was metamorphasizing right in front of your eyes because each change was so minute only the person making them happen knew and kept track of them…and that’s exactly how things should work for you. You want to create a seamless migration from the you you are right now to the you you want to be.


Preparing To Keep Yourself Motivated

You’ve started to change your thinking, you’ve accepted you have to change and now you need to accept that the road to be who you want to be isn’t going to be easy and you’re going to need inspiration and reinforcement along the way. In the beginning of any new endeavor we’re so excited and nervous and thrilled with the idea of the end results that it’s fun to start a new routine. The problem isn’t getting started, the problem is keeping at it when set backs occur (and trust me, they occur) and boredom and fatigue set in. I know it’s hard to believe, but even learning to become popular with women can be boring.

Being popular with women means you have to learn to be good at talking to them, and being good at talking to them means being good at listening and being entertaining. Yes, you can try being the brooding silent type but unless you’ve got the looks of, say, Brad Pitt chances are you won’t be noticed. It’s far easier to draw positive attention to yourself with women by having a charming outgoing personality, but this takes practice and that means that you’ve got to practice on women that don’t necessarily captivate you.

It means you’ve got to be upbeat and outgoing to the checker at the grocery store, and the girl across from you on the bus, and that girl you’ve known since kindergarten who’s nice enough but who you don’t want to date…soon you’ll realize that even women you thought would captivate you don’t. Just because a woman is sexy and beautiful doesn’t mean she’s going to be any fun all.

But you’ll keep working on your charm and listening skills because sooner or later you’re going to run into a woman who is as stunning and ephervesant as Jennifer Garner and all that will be between you and success or crashing and burning is you, you and whether you can not only catch her interest but captivate it through what you’ve got going on between your ears. Men suddenly know the right thing to say in books and movies because the writers who created them have spent years (and I mean years) practicing their skills of writing dialogue. You don’t have your own personal dialogue coach dude, so yep, it’s practice practice practice.

And you’ve got to find little ways and tricks of keeping yourself motivated when the excitement of creating a new you wears off and you’re thinking of how much easier and more pleasant it would be to go back to the computer and plays games or sit on the couch watching endless videos. Yes, sure, sometimes we all need a break, but do your best to make that break one that will leave you positively motivated and rearing to go…not a feeling sorry for yourself pile of rubble.

Books, movies and music can either zone us out or inspire us. What book, movie or piece of music puts you in the go get ‘em spirit? You need to keep these handy for whenever you feel like you’ve hit a brick wall and your goals just aren’t worth going for – they are – you just need a little break and some time to dust yourself off. Whenever I’m down and feeling blue about things I’m trying to make happen in my life I either read or go out and see LOTR “The Return of the King”. There’s something about the almost overwhelming task the heroes are trying to accomplish and finally complete that helps lift my spirit and makes me feel I can get back out there and keep working toward my dreams. Of course it doesn’t hurt that there are some very hot men in the movie. I feel very inspired by the likes of Vigo Mortensen (Aragorn) and David Wenham (Faramir).

Who inspires you? What famous woman (an actress, model, athlete etc.) would you choose as your advisor and cheerleader the way Kelly LaBrock is for the high school boys in “Weird Science”? What would she tell you to encourage you when you’re down?

Imagine exactly what she’d say to you as if she’s saying it. How would she cheer you up? With wild sex? Okay go for it – but it means you’ll have to rise to the occasion, doesn’t it? Are you now the man you want to be if such an occasion were handed to you on a platter?