By Jackson Morris
Copyright © 2006, Seduction Insider, www.seductioninsider.com.
When you watch the Academy Awards next month, try to count how many men you see on the red carpet that you don`t recognize. Those non-celebrity males are made up of boyfriends, brothers, agents, and even guys who made the "t-shirts".
An event that large is going to have so many peripheral players that want a piece of the action it is inevitable we will see them.
The reason many of them stand out is because even though they are not famous, the know how to "act" famous on the red carpet. If you are reading this, I know you are not famous but who else knows? You may just end up leaving with a hot chick because you look like someone important.
How To Work A Room
The way you walk into a room is as important as how you work the room later. The "do`s & don`ts" are simple and you must go into your own "celebrity mode" to avoid and gain the proper attention.
Rule # 1: Famous People, Try To Act Humble - There is nothing appealing about gloating, bragging or acting "better than everyone". If you are on the red carpet, you are already more "privileged" than everyone, so don`t rub it in. This is why you see them constantly waving and thanking people they have never met. Being a player in this crowd, you must appear "grateful" as much as you appear joyful.
Rule#2: Appear Joyful - Constantly smile. I say this even if you are at a nightclub or a private party. People are drawn to happy smiling people. Smile like you are "high" not like you just passed gas. Often they are not even curious about what you are smiling at, they just smile back and gravitate toward it.
If you do pass gas on the red carpet or at a party, make sure there are many people around to eliminate you from the pool. Smile as if you won the lottery and got laid at the same time.
Rule #3: Dress to Impress - Don`t try to "set trends" on the red carpet or at a party. Don`t walk in with your pants hangin` off your ass with your ball cap turned backwards.
Never ever, ever dress country western.
Don`t break rules here, if you know everyone will be wearing a tuxedo, then buck up, suck up and go buy a good tuxedo (you might need it again). Buy a traditional tux with nice cufflinks. Don`t be a cheap bastard who rents his pleather shoes from K-Mart.
No matter what the event, buy nice shoes and make sure they are shined. Most importantly, MAKE SURE your face is free of debris - no boogers, nothing in your teeth and no hair growing out of your ear. At these events, everyone is under a microscope, so put yourself under one before you leave the house, and any chance you get before or during the event (just don`t get caught checking out your reflection in the limo`s windows, you vain bastard).
Rule #4: He Said, She Said - These events can last for a few hours, so be choosy about opening your mouth too much too soon. Don`t start telling long stories or laughing loud like a hyena before the fun even begins. Be a "good listener" to your date or the guests in your presence.
Hint: Be cool with everyone by being a "supporter". Everyone loves attention, a "supporter" is that guy in the conversation that "agrees" with or "confirms" everything the speaker is saying.
The more you make them look good the better you look to everyone. Avoid being a blabber mouth, these people are better actors than you in life if you are getting invited to "their" party, so don`t tell any story your ass cant back up!
Girls love it when a guy does "volunteer work" so I always make up a "fake pet foundation" and say I help abandoned or abused animals.
Rule #5: Come & Go - Make sure you don`t rent a limo! Limos are expensive and you will spend about 10% of the rented time actually in the limo. Even if you take a cab all night you might spend less. The only reason I say get a limo is when you are "sure" their will be chicks in it.
Truth is, if you need a limo to get chicks you need to get a "PENIS ENLARGEMENT". If you don`t have a date, then roll up in a rent a car. If you have to "roll up" in something nice rent a sweet ride for the night, it will motivate you to fill the second seat.
Rule #6: No Babysitting - No klingons or tagalongs or dorky guys who buddy up to you because you seem cool. Of course you`re cool fool, that is why you are there. Whenever somebody tries to "latch on" to me at a gig, I tell them to fetch me a drink and then I take off and ditch them. You can avoid being the dork by not "bar hopping", this is an event not a bar, you must "mingle" don`t bounce around.
Rule #7: Slow Your Roll - Don`t try to out-drink everyone to calm your nerves or to have fun. Do you really want Jack Palance holding your hair back in the men`s room while you vomit? Have something to eat before you arrive so if you have some booze you won`t get sick. Even if everyone is doing "shooters" off boobs, try to do only one - remember you are a "rent-a-guest".
Rule #8: Everyone Is Watching - Remember Rule #2 - The cameras will be rolling and flashing so always be "camera ready". Constantly smile and look for photo opportunities! This is a great way to mingle, just slide into the photograph. Now it is true, you were at the event. Keep your fingers out of your nose, ass and ball region at all times. The moment you pick you nose is the moment the camera will go off.
Rule #9: Eat Them Alive With Your Eyes - Important people and famous people have something in common: They love attention. These are just normal people like you but they require more ego stroking than the rest of us. Stare at the asses of every hot chick that walks by, make sure you smile and keep a "poker face".
This means stare at every ass at the party and never give a clue to anyone whether you liked it or not. That will show confidence in a room packed with wolves.
Rule #10: Have Fun - You are at a party dumb ass so have a good time! If you follow all those silly rules you will be having as much fun as the guests of honor. You are a guest and under no pressure, so live it up.
These are my basic red carpet/big event rules for turning yourself from a nobody to a somebody right before their eyes.
Lastly, bring condoms, celebrities are notorious for unsafe sex.
