The Secret to Being Desired by Women

“Maxim for life: You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer

Have you ever had the experience of going away to camp as a kid, or on a vacation, or moving to a new town, or changing jobs and realizing that you had a clean slate to work with – that your reputation of being a big nerd, or really shy, or unpopular because of whatever reason, was completely unknown to these new people so you could write your own ticket if you had the guts to? You could literally taste the possibility of becoming a popular new you…the only problem is that you didn’t quite know how to do it so you quickly fell back into your old ways of being less than you’d like to be.

Don’t worry, you’re not alone. While we’re taught skills such as grammar, and math and history in school, we’re not taught how to have pleasing winning personalities that will make us popular with our peers – especially those of the opposite sex. Since no course is taught in this most important subject you’re left to your own devices to find the right tools and resources to figure it out on your own.

Women have it a little easier (and I mean a very little) because we’ve been inundated from adolescence from a plethora of magazines and books on just what we need to do in order to be attractive and sexy enough to find the right guy.

Unfortunately men are given a substantially different message – that they should have it all figured out (from how to be cool and popular to how to be a stud in the bedroom) thus prior to the invention of the Internet many of you were really SOL.

Fortunately for you both the Internet and SeductionInsider.com is now here to help. Today I’m going to share with you the ancient but very powerful secret of “As If.” This secret is absurdly simply, absurdly obvious, and yet it’s amazing how few people take the time to figure it out. In a nutshell it boils down to this: If you want to be popular and successful with the opposite sex you have to study and take on the skills of the masters at the game.

You have to act “as if” you already know what you’re doing. You have to become an actor in the play of your life and literally learn a new role.

First you’ve got to do your homework and figure out what the heck it is that popular men do in order to be successful with women in the first place. Stop grumbling and peel your eyes and ears. Look sharp, pay attention and listen closely. You need to become observant and learn their skills and then acquire those skills yourself by “acting as if” you already possess them.

But I’m not going to throw you out on the street without some important guidelines, however, following are the differences between the way a popular man behaves with women and one who’s overly concerned about making the right impression:

First, however, a word of caution…


Avoid trying to be the Hot, Sexy, Bad Boy

I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade, however, just as most women don’t have the near goddess perfection of the sexy Angelina Jolie, most men don’t have what it takes to try and be a hot, sexy, bad boy like say, Collin Farrell. While you don’t have to be handsome ala Johnny Depp to carry off this role (after all, Heath Ledger couldn’t really be called classically good looking) you do need a heavier dose of sex appeal and physical allure than your average popular man. And not to mention that many hot, sexy bad boys either die early (i.e. James Dean) or they can end up being a sad parody of their early selves like Micky Roarke.

So my advice is that if you’re not the lead singer in an up and coming band, or notice that gay men find you quite attractive (they have great radar for who will be “hot”), it’s best to focus on being the regular sort of popular guy.


Popular Men Know there Are A Lot of Fish in the Sea

The frequent reef of destruction many inexperienced men crash them upon with women is becoming too attached too quickly to one woman, or even the idea of her. These men usually see themselves as true romantics, but unfortunately they’re more often simple projecting and obsessing. A romance is a two way street, not merely when you have a crush.

Popular men are just as drawn to a pretty face but they don’t get too caught up in a woman who has no interest or time for them – because they know there are a lot of fantastic women out there if you’ll just gather your courage together and go looking. It sounds so simple, but it’s true.


Popular Men Show Women a Fun Time

This is very different than what many “nice” but clueless men do. Nice but clueless men often have a set idea of how to show a woman a good time that’s, well, way out of date, or far too much for the situation. Your first few dates with a woman shouldn’t be overtly romantic. You’re not in a romantic relationship with her - yet, you’re just getting to know her. This means you should not bring her flowers at the beginning of the date (unless it’s a prom), you should not be spending all of your money on the sort of restaurant that has strolling violin players and white table clothes, and ditto with buying her one of those roses from a stroller street peddler.

But neither should you take a woman to the movies the first few dates either (unless it’s a special case where you’ve both been waiting years for this film to come out). You don’t get to know someone at the movies, but you can certainly get to know someone at an amusement park (the adrenalin can make the encounter all the more exciting), a trip to a museum (beautiful art stirs the senses), or even out to see live music at a club where they’ll be enough breaks in the music for you to talk.


Popular Men Do What They Say They’re Going to Do – But Not More

The quickest way to make someone bored with you is to call too often, talk too long, email too often and too lengthy, and want to see them too much making it apparent that you’d drop absolutely everything else in your life to be with them. Yes, when both of you are in love that’s just fine – but not before. It’s just human nature, we want what’s rare, not what’s handed to us easily on a silver platter.

So call when you say you’re going to call, but not more than once a week to set up a date. You can confirm by email, but don’t call again to confirm, it makes it seem you’re unsure of yourself. And when asking a woman out ask her for a particular day and time so it doesn’t seem as if you’re laying open your whole social schedule for her.