By Melissa Balmer
Copyright © 2006, Seduction Insider, www.seductioninsider.com.
Not to be too blunt about it, but if you’re here on this site reading this article you feel as if some aspect of your love life is wanting. Congratulations! That means a) you’re willing to do something about it because you’re here and b) there is absolutely something you can do about it. In fact, there are millions of things you can do about it.
But first you need to decide what thing/things are holding you back. All the good intentions and good information, skills, resources etc. will do absolutely nothing for you if you’re not ready to put them into play.
So what’s holding you back?
Let’s go over a few of the very common possibilities. Trust me, you’re not alone in these:
Shyness
There’s no way around it, shyness can be depilating. If shyness is holding you back with women you need to look over your life and decide if it’s also been holding you back from other things you’ve wanted in your life i.e.; a promotion, a longed for career, friends, etc.
If you’ve overcome shyness before to get what you wanted you need to go back and brush up on those very same skills to over come your shyness with women. You need to remember that almost everyone is shy in some way or another, and by holding yourself back you’re actually being stingy. There are women out there who want to get to know you! The only thing that will ever make you feel like you’ve got the skill of meeting women down pat is practice, practice, practice! Which is why I always recommend practicing your smiling and greeting skills (to get you moving in the right direction) on women you’re not attracted to – or at least not dazzled by.
If, however, you realize that shyness is a pattern that’s kept you from doing many things it’s time to seek professional help. A word of caution though, while there are some great drugs out there to help with anxiety disorders you also need to learn hands on skills to work with and over come your shyness as well.
Fear of Rejection
To take a huge bite of the sting of rejection I’ll just put it to you straight – you’re going to get rejected. What`s the best way to deal with it? Remember that dating, like sales, is a numbers game. If you’re constantly polishing you skills, and constantly improving yourself and constantly improving yourself and constantly getting out there and making an effort to meet women they’re going to start to say yes.
Remember, each “no” is a learning experience, and each “no” brings you closer to a “yes.”
Not Feeling Ready/Worthy of the Type of Woman you want to Date
Maybe you’ve got financial or health challenges, or maybe you need to lose weight or want to stop smoking. Trust me, I know what it’s like to feel you have serious road- blocks in the way. That doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy of meeting great women.
Right here, right now, you’re worthy of meeting someone great.
You may not be ready to date Jennifer Garner, but you’ll be surprised at who you will appeal to if you’ll just get out there and make what effort you can. If you wait until you feel totally perfect you’ll wait forever.
Dates don’t have to be expensive, you can meet at cool coffee houses and talk for hours for very cheap, you can go on pic nics in beautiful parks, or meander through museums. And absolutely perfect health is something very few of us have. Whatever your limitations are you don’t have to wear them on your sleeve, but neither do you have to allow them to hold you back. Remember, Pamela Anderson has Hepatitis C and that doesn’t seem to slow down her love life!
Here’s the very strange paradoxical seeming rule about how to improve things in your life. You have to accept yourself as okay first before any changes you want to make will really have a dramatic and lasting affect. Because if you don’t feel worthy of making the effort – you won’t. It’s that simple.
If, however, you’re dealing with a serious addiction or overcoming a great trauma, it’s best to put your focus on that now and heal what needs healing. I’m serious, do it now, don’t put the responsibility of helping you heal on a relationship, leave that to experts.
Feeling the Type of Woman You Want is Rare or Doesn’t Exist
The absolute right woman for you to settle down with and be happy for the rest of your life is rare. But here’s the rub, you’re not going to get any closer to her by staying at home on the couch or burying yourself in work at the office. You’ve got to get out there and meet women to learn who’s right for you. The clearer you are on exactly what you want in your love life the easier it is to find. The more you learn about the characteristics, values, morals and yes, appearance, of the women who’s right for you the easier she’ll be to find.
And here’s the kicker, the better your outlook and the more positive you are that the right woman is going to come along, the more beautiful the possibilities (meaning women) will be who come along to prove you right.
So if no one’s turned your head in a long time (unless on the cover of a magazine or website) stop grumbling and change your inner tune. Get clear on what you want, get clear on how you want to feel in a love relationship (or even just on casual dates), and then go hit the hot spots. You’ll be surprised that as your outlook, and attitude improve so will the women you meet.
