Single Life

For Every Supermodel Out There, There is a Guy Who is Tired of Screwing Her

To hell with all the lonely hypocritical needy codependent congregation of people that want commitment because they fail at it so much. Single life rules and any married person who says otherwise is simply jealous and tired of having the same meal every night. A famous quote I am quite fond of sums it all up for me.

"For every supermodel out there, there is a guy who is tired of screwing her."

The seasoned player should never feel guilty for the sexual gluttony they deploy. There is only good karma coming back to you for the service you provide lonely and needy females. Habitual and serial daters are generally comfortable in their pattern, and why not?

Variety is the spice of life and how better to enjoy life than the conquests of many exotic and intelligent women from varying backgrounds and diverse sexual interests. I hear many people, from religious zealots to even my Aunt Margie, campaign that committed relationships are important to a blessed life.

My Aunt Margie has also never banged two nurses in a Palm Springs Estate with free champagne and an endless supply of condoms.


Papa Don`t Preach

Many "detractors" of the single life are often made up of three groups; the jealous, the failures, the too lates.

The Jealous, these are the guys, in a relationship or not, who never really get any "play". They are pissed when they see a mismatched couple, thinking to themselves, that it should be them standing next to her and not him. The jealous are not team players either; they will cockblock and bad mouth any other guy who gets closer to a girl, knowing full well they themselves won`t win.

The jealous have a motto, "If I can`t have her, then nobody will."

The Failures are guys who pine away like a sad fairy tale prince for a commitment with a princess that will never come. They seek and covet this relationship so badly because they have never had one, or the one they had failed miserably.

Of course they are on this vicious cycle of failure because no woman will tell them "why" they are such a loser or geek to begin with. These guys should sign up for Geekmakover. Oddly the "failures" do most of their failing by what they say, not necessarily by the way they look.

The Too Lates are men that are married, or old or crippled or in some way past the point of no return on developing "game". For some reason they have reached a point in life where they understand the game as if it came to them in a dream or someone flicked a switch that said, "Player ON". This new found confidence or experience is useless and moot because their circumstances as stated will not allow it. Though slightly bitter, they are the only one of the three that hates the game and not the player.

They walk around with a big necklace that says "shoulda - woulda - coulda."


Don`t Worry Be Happy

Those three types of guys are not you! They are not me and they are not all the guys in players` shirts smiling their ass off at Club Stud every Friday night. For every bitter woman who was burned by an Idol (player - single guy) there are 100 more women who were pleasured by that same guy.

Single life rules!

When you are a single guy, there is a buffet of love, sex, companionship, seduction, and variety. Single guys get the single girls, rebound girls, cheater girls, MILFs, strippers, and girls next door.

When a woman just wants to get her groove on with no strings attached, she does not call one of the three loser guys listed. She calls a "sure thing", the single that makes his missile his mission.

People watch porn to spruce up their sex life and some would say that it is the woman in the porno that everyone wants to see. Fair enough, but if we all want to watch beautiful women get screwed on film, someone has to do the screwing.

<<<< Drum roll >>>> Single Life Stud.

There will always be a market for men in single life as long as there are shows like Desperate Housewives, Melrose Place or others that perpetuate that behavior. Let us not leave out reality TV shows like "Cheaters", which moreover is the "female" who is cheating not the guy, and usually with single men. Moreover, unless all the women in the world get married next week and simultaneously decide to stop cheating on men, the single male will rule in the "hunt or be hunted" world of the single life.

So the next time my Aunt Margie asks me to go to church so that I might meet a "respectable marriage minded lady", I will go. I will get dressed in my Sunday best and I will cross myself as I enter the church.

Then I will sit in the back pew and wait patiently during the service for the "bored" girls who look over their shoulder to see "who`s here". I can tell they are the naughty ones. So, when Aunt Margie is not looking, I pull an arrow I stole from Cupid out of my black leather quiver and point it at one of the looky-loos and picture in my mind the kind of worshiping I will be doing later.

Ah, single life.