Does She Spit Or Swallow?

One topic that is near and dear to a man`s heart is the subject of oral sex. Does she spit or swallow? As men, we gain a certain level of satisfaction from blow jobs that is decidedly different than that of your usual romp in the hay.

With recent studies pointing to women liking oral sex at least as much as men (more so than straight pumping and thrusting), we can finally dispense with the male guilt over this. Pardon my barroom metaphors, but we love a good knob-polish just as much as she likes a little carpet-licking. Oral sex is personal attention of the most intimate kind. It says, "I`m here for YOUR pleasure."

But what is our fascination with the subject of spitting and swallowing? Why is it so darn important for the girl to swill it down instead of making a wide-eyed rush to the bathroom? Mostly, it is a sense of acceptance. A guy will feel turned off if she refuses his precious teaspoon of Olympic swimmers as if it were a mouthful of Clorox.

Why does she need to spit? Primarily because of two reasons: 1) She`s turned off by it, and/or 2) She`s afraid or scared (trust). I`ll cover these reasons in the steps below to turn the situation around.

So, how do you improve your chances of her swallowing your spooge instead of hawking it into the nearest spittoon like a cowboy?

First, be a safe shooter. Getting yourself tested for HIV and other STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) and being happily open about sharing this to your prospective drinking buddy is an essential step in gaining her trust ... and subsequently her comfort. She doesn`t want to take a risk of illness or death solely to satisfy you.

Second, have a talk with her about her feelings on the topic of giving you head and the finish-up. Find out how she feels about it and why. Communication beforehand usually solves most of the problems people run into, especially expectations of their partner`s performance. Remember, most women, deep down, want to please the man in their life. If you`re sensitive to her fears, she`ll work with you.

Next, make it a tasty treat. Your diet radically affects the taste of your semen. Most guy`s diets produce a taste that is described as "bitter." (And, no, I don`t know this first-hand.) Fruit juices can help quite a bit. Go on a diet of regular orange juice and you`ll sweeten the taste up. That`s a good idea anyway, just for the vitamins and other health benefits. (You might also trim your short curlies so going down on you isn`t like an excursion into the South American jungle. Keep it clean and available. I`ve been known to give her a trail of cologne to keep it interesting and fun.)

Also, be sure you`re giving as good as you want to get. Don`t expect to get a lot of attention in your nether-regions if you aren`t willing to give HER some. There`s a joke that women only give head to get it, but I think deep down we all give to get in some way. If you`re generous, you`ll inspire a lot of gratitude and goodwill. Her desire will usually overcome her distaste, if you handle it right. Don`t wheedle and whine and con her and expect her to respond. Make it worth her while.

Finally, be sensitive to her fears. Some women are very into oral sex, others are so-so, and a small number are decidedly against giving head - especially swallowing. The first group is ideal, since you have no problems there. The second group are usually the women who started out timid and scared of giving oral sex, and had the bad luck to get with a guy early on that turned them off to it, mostly by forcing it on her, possibly even gagging her. Once a person gags on something, it`s a negative association that takes some gentle coaxing to get over. Give her some advance warning of your `arrival` the first few times and see how she handles it. Sometimes it`s just the unexpected that scares her off.

Take your time, and don`t expect the moon and stars all at once. Patience, Jedi. Patience.

As for the last kind of woman, the ones who won`t go south-of-the-border, I have to draw my line there. Personally, I feel that oral sex is a necessary part of the complete package. She doesn`t have to dress up in leather and ram a whip up my ass, or even explore every single position in the Kama Sutra. But if a woman has hang-ups or issues that prevent her from directly attending to Mr. Happy, and they aren`t easily worked through, I can`t stay with her comfortably long-term. If she`ll at least go to work down there, she`ll usually - eventually - partake of my protein injection.

Some might call it shallow to need her to swallow, but for me it`s a must-have on my list of positive sexual compatibility. Denying yourself what you want is the most undermining thing you can do to any relationship. Not every guy needs this kind of acceptance, and if you can do without and be happy, fine. But beware these concessions; they are significant to your subconscious. Subtle denials are often the most damaging.

So the next time you send her going downtown to polish your Ferrari, Slick, make sure she has a clear understanding that your engine is fuel injected ...