Women, do you know how to ejaculate when you climax?
These are just a few of the key questions that sex positive people learn to answer for themselves resulting in great pleasure. Tantrically speaking, being sex positive means you know that sexual ecstasy is a divine gift and any way you get it is good for you.
Unfortunately, most of the so-called civilized world disagrees. We don`t live in cultures that encourage us to explore our bodies, our orgasmic triggers like the G-spot, and their spiritual connection.
Religions frown on it. Few of our parents talked about it. You can`t even think about it at work without a lawsuit.
Ignorance Is An Equal Opportunty Employer
Even worse, health professionals are as hung up as the rest of the population. We regularly receive referrals from highly-trained therapists who are too shy to deal with sexual issues. And too many medical doctors scoff at sexual realities like female ejaculation.
Why doesn`t the average lover know more about their own orgasmic pathways?
Freud convinced many that clio (that`s Tantric for clitoris) orgasms were immature. Pioneering sex researchers, like Kinsey in the 50s and Masters & Johnson in the 60s, believed that only clio was responsible for women`s orgasms. The German gynecologist, Gräfenberg, was laughed at for proposing in 1950 an orgasmic trigger in yoni (Tantric for vagina) which caused women to ejaculate.
Who should you believe? If you listen to conflicting world-renown experts, you`re likely to get awfully confused.
Instead, we want to suggest in this three part article how you can experiment with these modern sexual "discoveries" that ancient texts like the Kama Sutra documented millennia ago.
Understanding Our Favorite Thing - Expanded Orgasm
When we started on the path of Supreme Bliss Tantra during the mid-90s, neither of us were multi-orgasmic. Like many other women, Jeffre`s orgasms required effort. She was never aware of ejaculating. Like most men, Somraj couldn`t separate orgasm from ejaculation. So he usually came pretty quickly.
Realizing how much we were missing gave us strong motivation to learn about pleasure, ecstasy, and orgasm through Tantric practice.
What do scientists tell us orgasm is (as if you need a definition)? When you get sexually aroused, your sensitive zones swell with blood, your muscles tense up, you breathe deeper, and your breathing and heart rate speed up. Orgasm occurs when that muscular tension is released at the peak of excitement accompanied by involuntary muscle contractions in the pelvic floor.
Does that fit with your experience? We bet you could add to that clinical description very colorfully. Scientists often forget to mention that it also feels great, uplifts your emotions, stops time, alters your consciousness, and makes you healthier.
Multiple Pathways To Orgasm
Personally, we`re not interested in dissecting the one true pathway to sexual climax. Why bother when we and the members of our Tantric family have so many different kinds of orgasms in so many ways?
Yes, we know that playing with clio (Tantric for clitoris) can help you climax. And it is good!
Yes, we know there are magic places inside men and women which are orgasmic triggers. We`re talking about the mysterious G-spot, of course. And, wow, is that good!
Yes, we regularly experience Tantric Orgasm from the circulation of sexual energy: ecstatic vibrations all over our bodies and peak pleasure for minutes which sometimes extends to hours.
Yes, many of us experience the same kind of climaxes in the heart, the head, or other chakras (Tantric for subtle energy centers arrayed along the spine).
Why argue about the scientific analysis of what`s bringing you pleasure? The whole body, and your most sensitive tissues, are interconnected anyway. Different nerves feed clio and yoni (Tantric for clitoris and vagina), logically creating orgasms that sometimes feel different. If you learn to transmit sexual energy as Tantrikas do, why couldn`t excitement in one place -- the lips, a breast, a clio -- cause a great orgasm deep inside?
Our position is simple. Stop arguing and start teaching people to find these triggers and create their own ecstatic sacred sexual experiences. Which is why we`re in the midst of writing our new ebook, "The Tantric Guide To G-Spot Orgasm & Female Ejaculation." What follows is an introduction which we hope you can put into practice right away.
In Search Of The Mysterious G-Spot
The female G-spot is erectile tissue under the lining inside yoni on the belly-side wall. We call this yoni`s "front" surface since it`s the inner side closest to a lover on top or in front. Erectile tissue is the fancy medical name for sensitive organs that fill with blood, darken, and swell when aroused. Sexologists call this "engorgement." The good news is that erectile tissues get even more sensitive when engorged with blood.
Guys carry one great little expandable example between their legs. Sorry, guys, we mean BIG example.
Learning to find and enjoy female G-spot stimulation is a challenge for many lovers. Partly this is because it`s under the lining. Without the right kind of arousal, it may be unnoticeable. As every lover knows, each woman is different and different female folks prefer different strokes at different times. So unless you tune in to her unique formula of the moment, you may not find her G-spot.
Then there`s the conflicting teachings about the G-spot out there. Some say it`s the size of a pea, some a bean, some say a half-dollar (2.5 cm if you`re unfamiliar with U.S. currency).
Some say it`s one to two inches inside yoni, or near the urethral opening. Gräfenberg, who the spot is named after, highlighted the area near the bladder at yoni`s top or inside end. Many others direct you to mid-way between the pubic bone and the cervix at yoni`s end.
Much of the confusion and difficulty stems from that fact that this powerful "orgasmic trigger" isn`t one well-defined organ like a prostate gland or an ovary.
Taking Aim At The Moving Target
What we call the G "spot" is actually a sponge of little glands and ducts that surround the urethra. The urethra is the one to two inch slender tube that conducts urine from the bladder near yoni`s top inside end to the urethral opening near yoni`s opening. The urethra and its spongy insulation run along the front wall of yoni. Sexologists prefer to call this the "urethral sponge."
Again, here`s the good news. The urethral sponge is erectile. So when you play with it the right way, it swells under the surface of yoni`s skin. Some believe its biological purpose is to protect the fragile little urinary canal from hard thrusting vajras (Tantric for penis). Makes sense, huh?
With the "G-spot" better defined, can we now explain where it is? Sorry, not exactly.
The exact truth is that different parts of the urethral sponge can be aroused. So it appears that the G-spot moves from time to time, even within one lovemaking session. But with the right attitude, guidance, and practice you can easily learn to stimulate the best place at each moment.
The Sacred Gate To Supreme Bliss
Since it`s not really a fixed spot, the term we`ve been using, "G-spot," isn`t really very accurate. Dr. John D. Perry, one of the original authors of the 1982 best-selling "The G-Spot" book, still believes it`s the best compromise amongst the available poor choices. As we`ve said, many sexologists use "urethral sponge." The term "female prostate," once quite common, is becoming more accepted again. Our dear friend Dr. Gary Schubach prefers "G-crest." Many Tantrikas use the ancient term "sacred spot."
We prefer to call it the "Sacred Gate." This term reminds us that the erectile tissue of the urethral sponge is a doorway to sensational sexual pleasure, amazing ecstasy, and supreme bliss.
For many women, it`s hard to get the right kind of sacred gate stimulation with a vajra (Tantric for penis) pumping inside yoni (Tantric for vagina). Students of the Kama Sutra know that certain unique sexual positions work best for different body type combinations. The anatomy of the sacred gate is why.
Ecstatic Alternatives To Intercourse
Actually, trained fingers often work much better for G-spot play.
So why haven`t more women discovered the pleasure accessible through their sacred gate using fingers? Well, not everyone believes it`s there. Many don`t know where and how to find it. It`s hard for many to reach without a map and detailed instructions. Each woman`s unique physique may require a different body position.
Few women are unaware of the location of their lips, breasts, and clio (Tantric for clitoris), even if they don`t go searching for them. But let`s not forget that how strongly females, as well as males, are conditioned against self-pleasuring. Even if a women overcomes these taboos to search for her own G-spot, she might miss it without sufficient turn-on beforehand.
In fact, without proper stimulation, sacred gate play is often uncomfortable or even painful to some women.
No Luck With An Urgent Problem
Further, initial pressure on the sacred gate often creates a sensation called "urgency" in the medical world, the feeling of needing to pee. We believe this occurs because an engorged urethral sponge presses on the neck of the bladder. Even when empty, this feels identical to the pressure caused by a full bladder.
For reassurance, it`s a good idea for a woman to empty her bladder before this kind of play. And while you`re preparing, grab a couple of thick towels to lay on for that extra sense of security, just in case you ejaculate. More about that soon.
For many women`s bodies, it`s easier for a partner to locate their sacred gate. If sex to you is limited to the old in-an-out, here is a wonderful opportunity to drop your outmoded beliefs and start experimenting with what works uniquely for you. Like defining sex as anything that makes your body feel good.
For a partner to find your sacred gate with their fingers requires that you guide them to the right place with the right strokes. Which is why, even if your lover knows where and how to look for a your sacred gate, the perennial challenges of sexual communication can get in the way.
If you approach this kind of play as conscious Tantric Sex however, you`ll grow through these kinds of problems. Don`t yet know how to do this? Never fear, just read on.
The Wet Truth About Female Ejaculation
Scientists estimate that from 10% to 40% of women are conscious of ejaculating when their G-spot swells with the right kind of arousal. This means they can tell when they emit sexual fluids distinct from yoni lubrication. Some dribble, some gush, some downright squirt. Mostly this happens during orgasm, but some women can do it at other times, too, when highly aroused..
Those sexually-liberated females who understand the gift of ejaculation relish this feeling of warm release. The same with enlightened lovers who swoon when showered with such an intimate gift. Somraj, for one, finds supreme delight in being with a female ejaculator.
Why isn`t female ejaculation better accepted?
Once again, we`re reminded of generations of ignorance and prejudice, partly fueled by the male-dominated sciences. Not so long ago, physicians ordered surgery for female ejaculators to cure the inability to control their bladders during sex, referred to as "urinary incontinence." We`d rather not share how many painful stories we`ve heard about ignorant lovers who thought their women partners were peeing on them when they climaxed.
Dispelling The Myths About The Wet Spot
Please help us and other enlightened sexologists spread the truth. To begin, let`s take a look at what this liquid is.
First of all, female ejaculate is not urine. It`s chemically different. Anyone who`s been with a female ejaculator knows it has no odor and is clear, not yellow. In fact, it more closely resembles male semen, obviously without the sperm.
Amrita, the Tantric name for female ejaculate, is sweet, thin, clear, and odorless. As Gräfenberg pointed out, it gushes, squirts, or dribbles at orgasm, which makes it of little use as a lubricant.
We`ve proven this all too often. Jeffre`s common practice is to squirt or dribble repeatedly during our lovemaking. As a result, her thin amrita washes always the "Probe," our preferred sexual lubricant, that we use during sexual union to reduce friction and increase sensation. Reapplying some Probe is now just a routine part of our lovemaking as we pause at peaks and plateaus of ecstasy.
You May Be Wetter Than You Know
Where does it come from? Our friend, Dr. Gary Schubach, also known as "Doctor G," proved in his doctoral research that amrita is released from the urethra. He studied several copious squirters and, by emptying their bladders first, clearly identified amrita issuing from the same place as pee.
So it`s understandable why untrained lovers sometimes think it`s urine, coming out of the same orifice. But Gary`s analysis and others have showed it`s quite different.
Some women ejaculate every time they have sex. Some only with certain lovers and certain love play. Some rarely. Others squirt only at certain times during their monthly cycle.
We believe many women already ejaculate but don`t know it. Not knowing about the possibility, they aren`t aware of it. They may be dribbling such a small amount of fluid that they don`t notice it. Or sadly, they might have been misled by their family physician, gynecologist, or ignorant lovers.
Yes, You Can If You Want To
Research sexologists claim not every woman can ejaculate. Though there may be scientific data to support this position, we believe that any woman can learn through Tantric practice. Jeffre taught herself as have many members of our extended Tantric family.
A woman doesn`t have to squirt for both her and her lover to enjoy sex immensely. We don`t want to suggest for a moment that you`re inadequate if you don`t ejaculate or if you can`t make your partner gush. It`s a preference, like same-sex play or anal sex. Go for it if you want to. If you do, with our upcoming ebook, you`ll have the complete program to follow.
How can a woman learn to ejaculate? Well, that`s a big subject. Gushing requires relaxation, accepting oneself as a sexual being, opening the sexual energy channels inside, learning to consciously employ the four cornerstones of sexual ecstasy, and using the right kind of physical stimulation, usually applied to the sacred gate.
Be A Tantric Explorer
Though we don`t have room here for the whole story, we believe that just knowing the sexual truths we`ve shared with you will help. We suggest you experiment with them on your own and with your lover.
Explore Tantrically: play around without expectation, try out new things, communicate openly and honestly, stay in the moment, focus on what feels good, and be ready to shift when what you`re doing doesn`t feel so good anymore.
Since we`re all different and change day to day and moment to moment, drop the whole idea of knowing everything and being the perfect lover. Instead, imagine you`re Lewis & Clark taking years to explore the huge wilderness of American`s west.
Or in this case, the sexual frontier hidden inside you and your lover.
The Sexually Whole Story
We believe that the lack of sexual wholeness so many people experience contributes to the difficulties of enjoying sacred gate play and female ejaculation.
Growing up in our sexually immature and repressed society, none of us can avoid accumulating energetic sexual blocks. Women and men who`ve been sexually exploited, abused, and wounded may carry even more baggage. The sacred gate can hold this negative energy, getting in the way of enjoyment, orgasm, and ejaculation.
To fully open to the joys of sacred sexuality requires clearing for all of us. It can be done. So many of our friends, lovers, and clients confirm this, as does our personal experience.
Do you want to become sexually whole? Do you hope to experience more and more sexual pleasure? Do you look forward to higher and higher peaks of sexual ecstasy? Then we welcome you on the path we`ve been joyously treading for some years now.
All will be covered in great Tantric depth in our upcoming ebook. Watch for its impending announcement.
Good News, Men Have One Too
While we`re on the subject of G- spots, did you know that men have one too? Don`t worry guys, we don`t intend to leave your other major orgasmic trigger out of our upcoming ebook.
The male G-spot is the prostate. That`s the firm, partly muscular, chestnut-sized gland a long-finger-width inside the rectum which produces a thick fluid which is part of semen. Guys, if you`ve never felt it otherwise, you`re sure to recognize your prostate`s involuntary rhythmic contractions that begin your ejaculatory orgasms. Which is why stimulating it from inside or outside produces great pleasure.
You mean by putting a toy, finger, or vajra (Tantric for penis) inside your anus? Yes, that`s the most direct means of male G-spot play.
Breathe & Relax, You Can Handle It
We know that freaks out some people, partly because of the hygiene factor. But if you wash and stay aware of what you put where, you can make it clean and safe. We always keep talc-free latex gloves handy just for that purpose.
The ultra-insensitive approach of too many physicians during prostate exams has created a lot of resistance to anal play. On the other hand, many people love it. There are a great many nerve endings there which produce incredible pleasure when the right kind of stimulation is welcomed and accepted.
As with so many kinds of sexual exploration, relaxing is the key here, too. We find it tremendously freeing when a man opens to anal penetration. Regardless of his experience, a man can`t walk away from his first time without great empathy for what women experience during sexual penetration.
Proof To End The War Between The Sexes
Enlightened sexologists recognize that both men and women can have great pleasure and orgasms from both inner and outer stimulation. They compare male and female jewels (Tantric for sex organs), seeing clio (Tantric for clitoris) as a small female vajra and the sacred gate as the female prostate.
Since men`s and women`s jewels evolve from the same embryonic human tissue, the comparison makes sense. Here is firm evidence that the two genders are equal, at least sexually. Maybe it will help end the perennial war between the sexes. Make love, not war, right?
Women swoon when they first experience sacred gate play and female ejaculation. With male G-spot stimulation, men can soar right along with them.
A Tantric friend recently wrote... "My husband goes into as long and expanded states as I do, we are equal opportunity in this department!"
Blended orgasm, combining clio and sacred gate excitement, is even more fantastic for women. Now there`s no reason why ecstasy needs to be limited to the fairer sex. Couple male G-spot play with vajra stimulation and the sky is literally the limit for both sexes.
Nothing Compares With Tantric Orgasm
Of course, nothing compares to using subtle sexual energy to reach Tantric Orgasm. A Tantric Orgasm is an experience of prolonged peak pleasure in which your whole body vibrates with wave after wave of intense ardor. You shake all over, engulfed in surge after surge of pure liquid fire, that can go on for minutes, even hours.
We think adventuresome lovers get hooked on stronger and stronger physical stimulation in an attempt to create this kind of non-stop ecstasy externally. With simple step-by-step exercises, our coming ebook shows how to create sensational highs with the slightest arousal. That`s why we call S.E.X. Subtle Energy eXchange.
Tantric lovers use any and all kinds of sexual play to begin detonating Tantric Orgasm. Imagine having your most powerful triggers creatively loved while you`re in the throes of Tantric Orgasm. It`s an altered state we call the O-Zone, beyond excitement, beyond orgasm, and beyond multiple orgasm. Where time stops, boundaries with your beloved disappear, you merge with the entire universe, and float there endlessly never wanting the supreme bliss to end.
The secret of Tantric Orgasm is to spread the powerful sensations from each part of your jewels throughout your body. Then the energy implodes, massaging your mind, body, and spirit instead of being released by an explosive orgasm.
Men, Your Doorway To Ultimate Ecstasy
Men, your doorway to this kind of ecstasy is learning to separate ejaculation from orgasm. Yes, they are different experiences. And it`s relatively easy to learn with some fun practice. Which is partly why we started our growing ebook series with Somraj`s best-selling "Ultimate Ejaculation Mastery."
When you complete his program and learn to last forever, you`ll be perfectly primed and ready to expand your sexual repertoire to include ecstatic male G-spot play. And your women partners, soaring higher and higher, will naturally open to deeper ecstasy.
Looking Forward To Meeting You On The Way
We hope this introduction to your Sacred Gate and Female Ejaculation options opens your mind to more sacred sexual possibilities. After years of practicing and playing, we`re continuously surprised with how much more there is for all of us to learn.
What a great inner journey, learning about ourselves, our triggers, and supreme bliss. We look forward to meeting you along the way.
About The Author
Somraj Pokras helps lovers enjoy multiple orgasms and astounding sexual ecstasy with free newsletters from Tantra At Tahoe. Get his complete on-line program containing 48 additional exercises in his ebook Ultimate Ejaculation Mastery available at his site and his on-line partner, Tantra.com.
