Become a Master Tease

Last week I talked about how important it is to slow down and chill when in pursuit of a woman you really desire. This continues to be crucial even as you move towards serious physical contact.

What men need to really get, to really understand, is that their own planning and generosity at the beginning of a sexual relationship pays off fantastic dividends with all but the most selfish of women (whom you want to avoid spending time with anyway). Why? Because it shows that you’re a man, not a self centered boy obsessed with only his own instant sexual gratification.

By showing her both that you’re as equally interested in her physical pleasure as you are your own, and that you actually know a thing or two about how women function sexually (which is something far too many women as well as men are still in the dark about) you’ll be head and shoulders in front of the competition and make her eternally grateful.

But just how do you do it?

Again you step back, relax, and let the larger of your two take charge.

I just recently went to see the move The Wedding Date that I confess is a) a total chick flick and b) not a great movie (no fault to the main actors). However, leading man Dermott Mulroney does show exactly the charm and charisma of a man who’s not only in his prime and knows it, but owns his power rather than letting himself be run ragged by his testosterone. From the moment we see Mulroney’s character we know this is a man in full, a man in charge, and a man who gets what he wants. In one scene he makes co-star Deborah Messing’s character nearly swoon just by the way he uses his voice, and the way he leans close and whispers in her ear.

Make note of that – it’s not necessary to even touch a woman to make the sparks fly.

Which reminds me of a movie every man serious about learning the art of seduction should rent. Back in 1993 when actor Billy Baldwin was still showing tremendous potential he starred in a quirky little film called Three of Hearts with Sherilyn Fenn and Kelly Lynch. Baldwin plays a real gigolo, a hot young stud high in demand with rich society ladies with money to burn. Lynch’s character, a lesbian who’s been dumped by the bi Fenn’s, hires Baldwin to seduce (and then dump) the unwitting Fenn.

Baldwin is pure seductive magic in a scene where Lynch asks him just how he seduces women so easily (I must note, in a plot twist they’re roommates at this point). Baldwin begins asking Lynch a series of questions about herself, all the while using more and more direct eye contact, moving closer to her, and lowering his voice to a more intimate level. They are just a moment from kissing (and remember, she’s a lesbian) when Baldwin pulls back with an impish grin and says, “That’s how I do it” and both Lynch’s character and the audience are caught off guard by how easily we were all caught up by his hypnotic interest.

Now, there are those out there who believe you can simply seduce any woman you’re interested in with this type of focused, intimate attention and seductive voice from the get go. I personally don’t agree. Only a woman who’s had a bit too much to drink, or has terrible self esteem issues will letter a total stranger move in on her this way.

But we’re talking about a woman you’ve already started a relationship with, we’re talking about how you can begin to seduce a woman you’re already dating.

Rather than jumping on her panting like a dog in heat, you turn up the chemistry between the two of you by putting the focus on her. You draw her out with your questions and your interest in her responses. This isn’t the time for you to take the spotlight. If you take the focus off her now and feel the need to make it a “me show” you’ll break the seduction. I know it’s especially tough when something she brings up triggers a memory or an idea you want to share, you should share, but don’t take over the conversation. When you find yourself rambling on about you, stop as gracefully as possible and ask her another question.

Now, if the woman is comfortable with you and interested in heating things up, she’ll start tilting her head to the right or the left when listening to you. She might even begin playing with her hair. As we’ve told you before these are the International signs of flirting. Smile internally, but stay focused. This isn’t the time to get cocky. She hasn’t given you a pass to have sex with her yet – she’s just letting you know she wants to know you more.

At this point it’s important to give her some physical contact to let her know you’re interested in moving things to the next level, but you need to do this without acting like a sex starved barbarian. The more you can keep yourself in control, the easier it’s going to be for her to feel comfortable losing it.

Let me say that again because it’s very important – the more you can keep yourself in control as you move towards sexual contact the easier it’s going to be to have her lose control. Why? The more you show her that you know how to handle yourself the less she has to worry about you moving too fast before she’s ready.

So if you’re sitting next to each other on the couch engrossed in conversation it’s not cool to jump on her, pin her to the couch and ram your tongue down her throat. It is cool, however, to make some physical contact and see how she takes it. Casually scoot your leg over so it’s touching part of hers. If she doesn’t back up or move away she’s getting comfortable with you and open to more physical contact.

Next week we’ll talk about the best “making out” strategies to take things to the next level…