So, You Think You Want an Orgy?
By Dr Z
Copyright © 2007, Seduction Insider, www.seductioninsider.com.
 ADD: Seduction Insider To Your Home Page
ADD: Seduction Insider To Your Favorites
Do you frequently fantasize about group sex? You are not alone - group sex is one of the most common fantasies. Blame it on evolution, the popular scapegoat for uncivilized behavioral urges. Our desire to score with more than one partner at a time is evidently a reproductive survival strategy. In a recent Australian study, men who viewed pornographic images of two men and a woman produced better-quality sperm than men who viewed pornographic images of just women. The results suggest that humans subconsciously increase semen quality when faced with the possibility that their sperm will have to outperform another man's. In evolutionary terms, everyone in an orgy benefits - males produce more motile sperm, and women receive better sperm that will likely produce fitter offspring.
But group-sex fantasies can be disturbing for many of us. The concept of sex with numerous partners clashes with our monogamy-based beliefs. However, in an online survey by the Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality in 2000, more than 60 percent of swingers said the lifestyle improved their relationship, compared to only 1.7 percent who said swinging made their relationship less happy. According to the Kinsey Institute and other researchers, more than four million Americans have tried swinging.
Get Over The Jealousy And Envy
Group sex can be a breeding ground for the green-eyed monsters: jealousy and envy. You may feel envious of another man's sexual prowess or popularity, or jealous over your woman's enjoyment of another partner. Because multipartner sex is fraught with potential rejection or negative appraisal of your performance, you need to resolve any sexual or physical insecurities before engaging in group sex. Similarly, if your relationship is unstable, group sex may further erode it. Even if you are in a strong and secure relationship, you need to prepare yourself for the unexpected emotions that seeing your woman with another partner may evoke.
While I got turned on by watching my partner have sex with another woman, I was definitely peeved when he did her in my favorite sexual position, which he seldom performed with me due to the physical exertion it required on his behalf (she happened to be especially petite, which made the position easier to pull off). Understanding and discussing the triggers of your insecurity and jealousy (and hers) will help prevent arguments and hurt feelings. As a rule of thumb, try not to engage in any "romantic" activities with a third party in a group-sex scenario, such as French-kissing or gazing deeply into her eyes. Similarly, be careful not to compliment your new partners too highly in front of your mate.
Figure Out What You Want
Before you seek a way to end up in a pileup of naked bodies, figure out exactly what kind of sexual configuration and action floats your boat. Analyze your fantasies - and those of your partner. Do you get turned on by the thought of several women going down on you? Or does imagining your woman being penetrated by several men get your juices flowing? There are many different sexual practices when it comes to group sex, so know what you and your partner are getting yourself into.
A swinging party - once known as a wife-swapping or partner-swapping party - is switching partners with another couple for sexual encounters.
Soft swapping involves no vaginal or anal penetration between nonpartners. Other sexual activities (kissing, caressing, touching, oral sex) are permitted. Couples usually stay in the same room during a soft swap, which may also be referred to as a same-room swap.
A full swap involves penetrative sex with someone other than your partner. When these activities occur in separate rooms, swingers will often refer to sex as play.
Selective swinging usually implies the participants are childless, unmarried couples in their late twenties.
Dogging is a British phenomenon that involves inviting an audience to watch a couple have sex in a public but reasonably secluded location, like a parking lot or movie theater.
A gang bang involves one participant, usually a woman, being penetrated by multiple partners.
Chicken parties feature two or more women performing oral sex on multiple men.
A rainbow party is a variation on a chicken party, where women fellate men while wearing different shades of lipstick.
A masturbation party, also known as a circle jerk, can be single gender or mixed, and involves autoerotic activities or mutual masturbation in private rooms of masturbation clubs. Sexual intercourse is generally prohibited at such clubs.
Do Your Research
It's easy to find yourself in a naked pileup - there are more than 3,000 swing clubs and spas worldwide. Just search online using the terms for the parties detailed above and you will end up with results. Keep in mind that many of these clubs require a pricey private membership. While sometimes that can be purchased at the door, other clubs require prior approval based on photo submissions and demographics.
If you are a single guy, your choices may be quite limited, since many group-sex establishments are limited to couples or single females; some allow single men on selective nights.
Know Your Limits
Before you leave your house, make sure to discuss limits with your partner. You should be on the same page about the activities you are planning to engage in, and the type of partners you want to be involved with.
Learn The Terminology
Once you meet a partner or a couple who interests you, but before you start getting hot and heavy, discuss your preferences. Don't be intimidated by the unfamiliar jargon. Here are some terms you might hear:
A sandwich refers to three partners lying next to one another, and frequently implies double penetration of a woman (vaginal/anal).
A Big Mac is simultaneous penetration of the vagina and anus using penises or other phallic objects.
The shocker is simultaneous vaginal and anal penetration using two fingers and the pinky of one hand.
Napoleon's hat is when a participant penetrates one partner while performing oral sex on a second.
A daisy chain is three or more people performing oral sex on one another in a circle.
A spit roast is simultaneous penetration of a woman's mouth and her vagina or anus.
DVDA is "double vaginal, double anal," which refers to simultaneous penetration of a woman's vagina and anus by four penises.
Bukkake refers to several males masturbating and ejaculating on a woman's face.
Respect Others' Limits
If anybody in a swap becomes uncomfortable, experiences pain, or simply says "no", everyone is expected to stop what they're doing, at least temporarily. And as strange as it may seem in the context of group sex, you must respect everyone's privacy.
These are some simple guidelines:
Open/no door: If you don't mind people watching you play or asking to join in, leave the door open. This is an invitation to watch or participate. Of course, the group can still turn down participants, but an open door means it's okay to ask to join.
Cracked door: If you don't mind people watching you play but don't want anyone joining in, leave the door cracked open. This is the universal look, don't touch indicator. If a voyeur looks interesting, he or she may be invited in, but it's expected that observers will leave the group alone unless explicitly invited.
Closed door: If you don't want any intrusions, keep the door closed. If you're wandering through a club and spot a closed door, leave it that way. If you open a closed door, be prepared for a stern scolding.
Have a Question?
Post in the Forums.
|
|
