By Melissa Balmer
Copyright © 2006, Seduction Insider, www.seductioninsider.com.
Why Women Lie: We Don’t Want to Hurt Your Feelings
This is the biggest reason most women tell white lies. At the beginning of a relationship we don’t know how sensitive you are and how well you can take honest feedback. We don’t know if you’ll skulk for a week if we’re not thrilled with your amateur photography, your favorite restaurant, or your favorite band.
Later on, when we know exactly how sensitive you are about certain subjects, and that you won’t skulk for a week – it’ll be a month – we continue with white lies because it makes our life easier to live when you not a moody crank pot. Sometimes it’s just easier to go to the drag race, sit through the action thriller, or watch the football game.
Why Women Lie: We Don’t Want to Get Into An Argument
Sometimes we feel it’s better to agree with you (usually at the beginning of a relationship) than let you know what we really feel/think on a certain topic. If we’re just getting to know you, and we like you in many other ways and things are going great, we’re often afraid we’re going to ruin it all (or just the evening) by letting you know how much our opinions differ. I’m not saying this is a smart thing to do, but it happens every day. This is a hold over from our school days when we desperately wanted to fit in and would agree with the “most popular” girl just to feel we belonged and were accepted – even if it meant being gossipy and saying mean things about people we actually liked.
The problem is that in the beginning of a relationship, when the chemistry is really hot, we’re often willing to over look major differences in social values, political leanings and religious beliefs. We tend to fool ourselves into believing that these things will continue to be unimportant, or that we can change the man’s mind t our way of thinking.
Women also tend to lie to men (by agreeing even when they don’t really) if the guy is argumentative, always has a strong opinion, and loves to debate on just about any topic. Sometimes it’s just too much to deal with and we want peace.
Why Women Lie: We Don’t Want to Show Our Ignorance
Sometimes we lie by agreeing with you because we’re afraid that if we disagree you’ll pull our argument apart and show how we haven’t thought the topic out well. Sometimes we “feel” an opinion more than we’ve “studied” it, and we don’t want to be shamed for feelings that haven’t been backed up with solid arguments. Sometimes we actually have very well thought out reasons for our beliefs, but in the past we’ve been told we didn’t know how to make a strong defense and argue our case by our Father’s or a teacher and it left a big negative impression on us.
Sometimes, however, we’re just lazy and it’s easier to agree with you – especially if it’s a subject we’re not that interested in to begin with.
Why Women Lie: We Don’t Want to Explain Our Actions
What can I say? Sometimes men act more like a boss or a Father than a date or romantic partner. Some women tell white lies because we don’t want to be lectured or told what to do. We might not want you policing how much money we spend so we won’t tell you about the shopping trip. We might not want you to tell us it’s impossible to become a singer at our age so we won’t tell you about our voice lesions. Sometimes we find it easier to tell you we’re coming down with the flu than be honest and say we stayed out until three catching up with our favorite girlfriends.
And sometimes we go ahead and hire our neighbor’s kid to come in and fix our home computer (even though you’ve offered) because we don’t want you telling us what programs we “should” and “shouldn’t” have, we don’t want you deleting things you decide (without asking) are unimportant or unnecessary, and we don’t want you downloading games for yourself to play when you’re hanging out at our house all weekend when we really wish you’d go home for awhile so we could miss you.
We’re Not Sure if You’re the “One” But We Don’t Want to Lose You Until We Know
Many women are very pragmatic and practical in their approach to dating. We know some men have double standards not only about sex, but about whether a woman can even be “seeing” more than one man at a time. If we like you, but we’re not sure yet whether we want to see you exclusively (and you’re the sort listed above), we may lie to keep you on the line long enough to figure it out. We may also lie if we like you but know you’re just too sensitive to handle the fact that we date other men.
Why Women Lie: We Don’t Want You to Think Less of Us
If you’ve really impressed us with how together your life is, and how successful you are, we may lie to try and keep up with you. We may fudge on how much we earn, or act as if we’ve got our finances beautifully under control when in fact we live pay check to pay check and need our credit cards to bail us out. The problem, of course, is that the truth always comes out eventually and often ruins what could have been a great relationship if the woman had just been honest.
Of course, this is true for some men as well...
