You might know premature ejaculation too well. You're young, you're inexperienced, you're nervous as hell about "performing," and "being the man," and then the very worst you can imagine happens - seconds after slipping inside her velvet glove the meltdown occurs.
Suddenly the horrible phrase "premature ejaculation" is you and you've shot your wad before even pumping your hips once and all you want is for the mattress to swallow you whole…
Or, maybe you're not so young, but you've gone through a bit of a dry spell (okay, it's been a friggin desert) and you've finally met someone cool again, someone you could really get into, and it's the night the clothes come off and you're getting down to business at last and you're doing the deed - but all of a sudden it's over before you've even begun. You've become a statistic. You're one of those poor sods with a premature ejaculation problem.
Here's the straight dope, the above two examples are two of the most frequent groups of men who experience premature ejaculation, but according to the Journal of the American Medical Association one third of men surveyed admitted to having the problem at one time or another.
It's All About the Sensations
So the good news is you're not alone. And here's more good news. It's a solvable dilemma. Premature ejaculation is a problem with a cure - but the path to "keeping it up" is probably exactly the opposite of what you've imagined it should be. You've probably thought, or tried to avoid the impact of those amazingly good sensations that lead to orgasm during intercourse by doing things like math in your head while you're getting it on.
But that's exactly the opposite of what you should be doing. Way back in the 70's sex experts such as Dr. William Masters and Dr. Virginia E. Johnson pioneered a totally different approach - becoming totally aware of exactly what's going on with your body, That's right, you need to study your own sexual response in order to find out exactly where your "point of no return" is.
Do Your Homework
To start off this is a solo project, a one-man job - but rather than doing your normal falling into fantasy routine, spend the time during masturbation concentrating on the pleasurable sensations going on in your body. It's going to take trial and error to figure out when it gets too much to bear and you flip into the land of orgasm and ejaculation (yes, the two are actually separate occurrences, even though it feels like they're on in the same).
The goal is to teach yourself to learn exactly where you need to cool down before going over the edge - and then learning to slowly expand that amount of time. When you hit this point stop all hand action. Let yourself totally chill down. Once you can do this successfully, you can graduate to learning how to switch from high stimulation to lower stimulation.
But have faith; it's going to take awhile to teach your body new skills. And even though premature ejaculation totally sucks, at least the homework assignment doesn't.
But of course the point of this whole exercise is to be able to control yourself with the ladies, so…
Practicing with a Partner
Once you can successfully masturbate to a high level of arousal and then back off to lower but constant stimulation, and can go up and down with this program for a good while (say 15 minutes) you're probably ready to move trying things out with a partner.
Sure it's terrifying to admit to a woman you've got the hots for that you've got a premature ejaculation issue, but if she's your long-term partner she already knows, right? If she's someone new, well, I've got two ideas to give you courage: The first is that the majority of women never ever orgasm from intercourse alone.
That's right, I said never ever. So all of this pressure you're putting on yourself to be able to keep it up for ever while you're banging away at her is totally fruitless. It's more important that you can communicate with her and find out what she needs in addition your Johnson inside of her in order to get her to nirvana.
Which brings me to the second point. Learning to not premature ejaculate with a woman is all about communication. You're going to need her help, so you might as well make peace with the process and make it a fabulous learning experience for the both of you while you're at it.
So you've got the courage up to get naked with her again and give it the old Boy Scout try. Great, just don't expect yourself to walk before you can run. The key word here is less is more, no thrusting right off the bat. Remember, a real live hot wet female is going to be a lot more exciting to your private parts than your stale old fantasies so simply entering her can bring on a premature ejaculation.
Go slow, and be okay with pulling out if you feel yourself close to the edge. Let her help, give her a signal word that means things have to stop NOW. She can also practice the "squeeze" technique with you where once you give the signal that things have to stop she stops the blood flow to your penis by squeezing the base of it, or just under the head.
In Closing
Remember to keep her body engaged in this process so that she doesn't get tired and so and bored with you going in and out. When you can move to slowing stimulation rather than stopping it altogether, pull out of her and use your penis to stimulate her outer sexual lips and vagina to keep her juices flowing, or be a total gentleman and let your tongue sink between her thighs for a little love before getting it back in the game again yourself again.
