By Melissa Balmer
Copyright © 2006, Seduction Insider, www.seductioninsider.com.
"“The delicate balance between modesty and conceit is popularity.” – Max Beerbohm”
Being popular with men is a fine balancing act. On one hand you want to appear open enough for men to feel you’re approachable, but on the other hand you don’t want to appear desperate or needy which acts as a fantastic guy repellent (except for those types of men who want to save us, which I recommend you avoid).
Radiate Confident Happiness
To men, a smiling woman is a happy woman, and a happy woman is far more likely to give them the time of day, or the chance to get to know her, than the women who’s lost in her own worries and concerns. Yes, we all have bills we’re not sure how to pay, and cars that break down without notice, and family members who get sick. Life is never ever going to go exactly how we want. But you can be happy anyway, or you can at least do your best to put a happy face on when you’re out and about in places where you meet men – and that means just about everywhere.
But what if you’re use to being “off in a cloud” or worry constantly? Remind yourself to stop. Leave yourself a little note in your wallet and in your car reminding you to lighten up and get happy. Try it for two solid weeks and I’m sure that you’ll see a difference.
Be a Master Flirt
Okay, obviously radiating confident happiness and flirting means that you need not only to be smiling but saying a cheerful hello to men that catch your eye. But do you know the international signs of flirting females all over the world have sent to men for all the ages? Not sure? Let’s revue – you catch the eye of a good looking guy across a crowded room, you hold strong eye contact for a moment, look away and look back again. It’s that easy! Do this a few times, and if the man is interested (and clued in), he’ll make the move to come and get to know you.
When talking to a man you’re interested in women tend to tilt their head to one side or the other, and keep their eyes on his face. To turn up the heat a notch touch his arm or shoulder to emphasize a point. This will give him the signal that you’re comfortable with him being in your personal space. And to turn the heat up a few notches even higher “triangle” him – that is – rather than just watching his eyes move your focus from his eyes to his mouth and back. You’ll be sending him the subconscious signal that you’re wondering what it would be like to kiss him.
But what about the signals men send to letting you know he wants to know you better? Here are two great clues from Susan Rabin’s 101 Ways to Flirt:
The Tie Stroke
Just as women lick their lips when flirting (and toss their hair) men also “preen” by stroking their tie or the lapel of their suit.
The Eyebrow Flas
Apparently not only the eyes are the windows to the soul, but so are the eyebrows. Susan notes of a man’s eyebrows when talking to you, “If they’re relaxed, even limp, you’re not his cup of tea. But if he is wide-eyed with brows flashing upward, it’s a sure sign that you’ve taken him by surprise – and he couldn’t be more delighted!”
Okay, so you’ve seen a guy you really want to talk to but there’s just been no way to catch his eye and let him know you’re interested? Susan has a great idea for that as well. A good friend of Susan’s overheard a woman during an intermission at the theater walk up to a man she’d been studying for some time and say, “I’ll bet there’s a story behind the ring you’re wearing.”
Now who doesn’t want to tell you the story behind a funky tie, a ring, an interesting hat, the book you’re reading – certainly not most men! They’ll be thrilled to fill you in on the item’s personal history.
Dress in Ways that Make You Happy
Unfortunately once many women start a serious career we spend the majority of our wardrobe money on career clothes and not on those for our free time. Don’t make this mistake. Make sure your weekend and dress up clothes are those you look and feel great in. Nothing sends a message of being a woman comfortable and happy in her own skin than a woman in an outfit she loves – and nothing attracts men more than a woman happy and comfortable in her own skin. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing a favorite pair of jeans or a sexy cocktail dress that shows off your figure, if you feel good in what you’re wearing men are going to stand up and take notice.
Another good idea is to remember to ad a feminine touch to both your work and leisure apparel. Yes, I’m asking you to remember you’re a girl. That doesn’t mean you have to wear heavy make-up, fake nails, and dresses and skirts if they’re not your thing, but it does mean it might be time to take another look at how you’re stepping out of the house and making sure you’re putting your best feet forward.
Men do notice nicely pedicured hands and feet (and some men have serious foot fetishes). A few summers ago I bought a pair of very inexpensive bright pink thong sandals with a big flower on them – I’ve never ever received so many compliments on a pair of shoes from men in my life! This summer the styles are full of pretty flirty things that are sure to catch a man’s eye – make sure to add a few to your wardrobe. Even something as simple as a little silk flower pinned to your lapel, or a pretty hair clip added to your hairstyle can be enough encouragement for a man to come over and talk to you.
