By Melissa Balmer
Copyright © 2006, Seduction Insider, www.seductioninsider.com.
(Though we've posted this article as a topic for women, our male readers may learn a few important points here, so pay attention guys...)
It took four seasons and a makeover for an “Average Joe” to finally ride off (or in this case sail off) into the sunset with a fair maiden, but it finally happened last night in primetime. Yes folks, very sweet but slightly geeky (and self proclaimed over-emotional) Nathan, with his fantastic new teeth, won the chance for more one on one time with the charming, sweet and sexy Anna over the very hot and hunky Rocky of the oh-so-soulful gaze.
As usual the show was chock full of lessons for all of the self-proclaimed “Average Joes” as well as the hunks, but you might have been too dazzled by all of the making out that went on to notice. So lucky for you I’m here to spell the lessons out for you:
He Who Hesitates Loses Out Big Time
Three Average Joes caught Anna’s attention very early on in the show, but two of them lost their edge with timidity. The very first man Anna picked to go on a date was the very brainy (and much cuter on the show than in his promo photo) Aaron C.
Here’s the deal guys, if you’re out on a date with a woman you feel is out of your league so you do a total number on yourself and get all freaked out about it, and treat her as if she’s a rare china cup you-don’t-quite-know-what-to-do-with, and don’t-want-to-break, guess what? You’ve already lost. Sexy, smart, fun, charming women like the model/entrepreneur Anna (complete with business degree) don’t have time for meek men who fear them. If a woman is a go-getter she wants a man who is too. Aaron was too reserved and shy and Anna cut him quickly. It wasn’t her job to draw him out; it was his job to learn how to present himself at his best.
It’s important to understand that women who’ve made a living from their attractive appearance and sexuality (or who are just tremendously popular because of them) usually just don’t have time for meek men who might make them feel uncomfortable for having so much experience. This, of course, may not be the guy’s intention at all, but his very reserve and shyness speaks so loudly of his inexperience that it makes her feel insecure about her own worldliness – or she just might not feel like coaching a guy from ground zero.
Unfortunately society still has a double standard between the sexes about sex, so a woman with more experience is far more likely to dump a guy she feels is too shy to show her his desire and what he wants to do with it, than she is to take him by the hand and show him what to do. So what to do in such a situation when you really aren’t experienced? Fake it. Move forward confidently into the kissing and a little touching, and then tell her you really need her guidance and communication because you like knowing exactly what women want…
Too Romantic Too Soon Can Scare A Girl…
The second Average Joe who Anna’s interest only qualified as an Average Joe, in my book, by his less than average height and his shyness with women – and that’s the very sweet, intelligent and handsome Josh (why yes, I do have a crush) whose day job is working with cancer patients.
Josh has a very charming personality, and Anna really liked him – but again he was a bit meek with her physically, and if possible, too open about his romantic feelings too quickly. He began looking into the future when it was time to really be present and win her over with who he is. This was, after all, a woman who was being bombarded with romantic dates day and night. In fact, I was amazed in general at how easily the men professed romantic feelings, felt they had a true connection, and felt she was the one. Perhaps being secluded with only fellow cast members warped their brains a bit, but still – have a little patience and dignity guys! The show, after all, is called “Average Joe” not “Let’s Get Married.”
The third Average Joe who had a chance with Anna was the oldest of the gang (I believe thirty-six but don’t quote me) and that is the very charming and very funny and totally romantic Arthur. Arthur was both the comic relief and the one who most wore his heart on his sleeve. I cringed inwardly watching him fall so head over heels for a woman a decade younger from a different world – and for whom it was so obvious he’d walk on hot coals for. That’s just a little too much responsibility for the brief amount of time they spent together – however – Arthur was a true gentleman throughout the show and has proclaimed that the experience of meeting Anna opened up his heart to love again. Now that’s a class act.
Charisma and Chemistry Only Go So Far
What most of the hunks did wrong to be so quickly dismissed by the lovely Anna was almost always too obvious from the get go, but the hunkiest hunk of all, Rocky, was one smooth operator from the get go – and that cost him sailing off into the sunset with Anna. Rocky relied too much on their physical chemistry and getting swept up in the moment, and ignored almost totally that this was not only a sexy woman, but a smart one too.
Rocky was a class act too, never falling into the poor behavior of so many of the hunks, but everything Rocky said was so smooth it sounded like a motivational sound bite and Anna had her misgivings. Smart women know that great kissing, perfect abs and a beautiful face are wonderful, but they’re not going to sustain a relationship day in and out, and Anna was looking for a relationship. Rocky, it seemed, was looking for a dream and ignored Anna’s requests to really get to know him and what he was really thinking.
It may seem that women will hound you forever to know what’s going on between your ears, but here’s a hard truth – a woman who’s self assured and popular will give it only so many goes before she goes for someone else willing to be real.
With Spit & Polish Every Average Joe Can Be a Prince
It would be wonderful to live in a world where looks didn’t matter, but we don’t. The good news is that with modern technology we can help almost every aspect of our appearance that we feel has held us back (please note I said we feel for a reason, because we often use aspects of our appearance as an excuse and that’s all it is).
Several of the Average Joe’s were given make-overs and then had the opportunity to meet Anna again, but it was the sweet Nathan who’d taken the time to write Anna a long letter who was given a second go (and ultimately won). What did Nathan have the second time around that he didn’t have the first? A wonderful smile and a new wardrobe that gave confidence to play in the big leagues. And play he did. While he still had trouble holding eye contact with Anna, he did a great job of connecting to her one on one emotionally and intellectually (including quoting literature to her on a mountaintop), and then he totally charmed her mother. Would this way of behaving work when you just want to hook up? No… but most women either aren’t looking for hook ups ever, or they reach a point where it just doesn’t interest them any more. That’s when Average Joe’s really get to shine, when it really matters.
