How to Date Like a Man

If you allow it to this book can empower you to start on the journey of thinking for yourself, getting specific about your romantic goals, and learning the all powerful art of saying “no”. “How To Date Like A Man” is well organized and doesn’t expect you to jump right in the water and date like a man without a decent amount of preparation and warm up time.

One of my favorite sections in the book is in Part I: “Preparing To Date Like A Man” Moore and Gould point out that men understand how to think “big” with their lives, while women are still thinking quite small. Men are far more comfortable with being specific with their goals, while women are often quite vague. They write “Men are taught in the playpen to dream BIG. They understand what President George Bush (the first one) called the vision thing”. They go one to say “An example of thinking big when you’re dating is saying, ‘I want to be a couple like John and Katherine Macarthur, the philanthropists who give out the ‘genius awards.’ I want to find someone with whom I can make a contribution to the world.’ That’s a lot bigger goal than ‘I want to find a husband.”

In our current youth obsessed culture (continually focusing its eye on younger and younger people to hold up as cultural icons) it’s refreshing that Moore and Gould feel you can be sexy at any age (and I agree) because “Mature women are old enough to know what they want.” Believe it or not, men do find this very sexy in a woman.

One of the best catch phrases in the book is “A Pair And A Spare” which refers to the number of men Moore and Gould believe a woman should be dating at any given time. They point out that for men dating is a numbers game and you’d be wise to make it one for yourself as well stating “You must see and, more important, be seen by as many men as possible. Guys don’t sit by the phone or computer waiting for someone to call or email. Darlin’, you’re a girl on the go with lots of options. If you’re out on the town with Mike and not sitting at home pining for Phil, you can be cool instead of overeager when Phil finally calls.” Lest you think this smacks of game playing they point out “Dating is a sport, and men love sports”. It might be tough at first to wrap your mind around this new way of looking at things, but think about it – does a watched phone ever ring? No. If we want a man who’s got a lot going on we’ve got to be the same.

In that same chapter “Becoming A Master Dater” Moore and Gould point out three trap “don’t” areas that most of us women fall into one time or another when dating: “Men Don’t Worry About Potential”, “Men Don’t Talk About Relationships”, and “Men Don’t Overanalyze”. Moore and Gould point out that most women will only date a man with “potential” and then we’ll think it’s our job to develop it. The result of this is that we can get far too fixated on one guy way too early in the game. According to Moore and Gould “Men don’t try to change the women they’re dating because they’re too busy doing other things. If they want to be with a woman, they’ll be with her. If she’s high-maintenance, she’ll either dump her or accept her for who she is.” Just think about it. How would your dating world open up if you just started dating for a good time, to have new experiences, enjoy yourself and really learn just what kind of men really rock your world?

The possibilities, quite frankly, are endless – especially now that the Internet has made it so easy to meet someone.

In part three of the book “Dating The Master Dater” Moore and Gould spell out the type of men to avoid and the warning signs you just can’t ignore like “If a Man Is Mean to Service People, He’ll Be Mean to You” and the obvious (but one we women love to ignore) “A Man Who Cheats on His Wife or Girlfriend Will Cheat on You”. I applaud Moore and Gould for pointing out that “If more women dated with integrity (meaning they didn’t date men who were married or in a committed relationship), we wouldn’t have so many broken marriages and broken hearts.”

The final section of the book “Having A Game Plan” finally brings up sex and why they feel you need to wait four months before having sex with a man you’re seriously dating. I’m not sure I agree, however, they do make some very strong arguments for holding out, and even if you don’t decide to follow this advice do take their pointers about how to handle sex safely very seriously. Moore and Gould feel (and I agree with them) that it takes men longer than women to connect emotionally to someone new.