How to Have Seductive Sex

One of the biggest things men complain about in relationships is the fact that it’s often left to them to initiate sex. What we women need to realize is that we’ll never have true equality (in the bedroom and out) unless we take as much responsibility for creating our own sex lives as men do. In fact, if we want to have a truly great sex life we’ll learn to take even more responsibility. Yes, the possibility of rejection is scary, but what we need to recognize is that you have tremendous power when you initiate things - because then you can set things up the way we want them to play out. Think about it. You can create the type of sexual encounters you’d like to have by learning to seduce your lover.

Do you need more romance, foreplay, atmosphere, or time to orgasm? No problem, you can set up your seduction so that having your needs fulfilled is a part of the seduction. The trick is to make sure that your lover’s needs are met as well. Have you been longing for more romance and he’s been longing for you to wear really sexy lingerie? Have you been longing for more foreplay and he’s been longing to try something new and kinky? These things can all be beautifully and seductively combined if you’re willing to plan ahead, be creative and put for the effort.


Why You Need To Plan Ahead

Planning ahead is needed to create any great new experience, whether it’s a road trip or a tryst, but the main reason you really need to plan ahead is your own arousal. Women usually take much longer than men to really get turned on. By taking the time to plan your seduction ahead of time you’ll start putting yourself in the mood long before the actual date your seduction is planned for. Great! Enjoy the feeling. Allow the sexual energy you’re building up to spark your creativity and open your mind/body to new experiences. Browse lingerie catalogs and buy something for yourself in the color and shape you really like, but in a racier style than you’ve ever had the nerve to wear before. You also need to plan ahead so that you man is aware that you’ve got something special up your sleeve and nothing else gets planned for that day. For your first seduction I recommend a weekend, a Saturday, and I’d make sure that neither one of you have anything else stressful planned for this day. You both want to enjoy yourself as much as possible.


The Importance Of Creativity

We human beings are often far too lazy when it comes to our sex lives. We settle for the same old same old when we could instead be creating new, exciting and seductive and memorable experiences that will leave a smile on our faces for years to come. Let your imagination run wild. Check out the love scenes in your favorite movies and books. What can you learn from them? They’re usually in places other than the bedroom… Another thing way you can explore creativity is by engaging all of the five senses. Engage your taste buds by having a delicious exotic meal at home by candle light (no, you don’t have to slave in the kitchen unless you want to, I’m sure you can find some great take-out). Engage your vision going to a museum to see your favorite paintings and sculptures and by asking him to dress up and you do the same. Engage your ears by burning a special “seductive” soundtrack for the evening of your favorite sexy music, or by going to see a favorite band. Engage your sense of smell by soaking in a fragrant tub of your favorite bath oil and having fresh flowers in your bedroom (don’t go overboard with perfume or potpourri as men usually aren’t too keen on this sort of thing) for the evening. Engage your sense of touch by investing in satin sheets or putting together your own massage kit with different oils (including those that warm to the touch) and even a feather for some light teasing.


Build In The Foreplay

Sadly, the longer you and your lover have been together, the shorter the amount of foreplay he’s usually willing to engage in. Unfortunately this can happen with brand new lovers as well if you didn’t have the nerve to share with him what you really need. To shake things up and get the kind of attention you need and desire before intercourse build foreplay into your seduction. It’s quite easy really; just make sure that part of the seduction doesn’t take place in a bedroom! Take your lover out for a great dinner, or a concert (of music you both really enjoy – not just your favorite), or even a movie or a play and announce seductively in his ear that you bought some new sexy lingerie for tonight, but you left the panties at home. Or why not just put together a great picnic of really yummy food and spend the afternoon in a beautiful park, or go on a short easy hike and make out for hours? You’ll both be ready for just about anything by the time you get home.


Tell Him About It

Men love it when women not only talk dirty but also tell them plainly and clearly exactly what you want them to do, or have done, to them. Since each person is an individual you should never ever assume your lover knows exactly what to do. After all, even though men are often obsessed with sex they don’t come equipped with an owner’s manual of “how to turn on females”. If you want your seduction to go off really well key him in that the evening is to include very hot sex. Let him know in advance that you’re planning a special evening and it includes trying something new in the bedroom. As it says above verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction. He’ll be all ears, eyes, and hands when the time arrives.

Melissa Balmer is a contributing writer to Dating Insider's The 'Science' of Picking Up Women, which has been featured in MAXIM, NBC-TV, the BBC (Europe), and quoted by Tara Solomon of the Miami Herald as an empowering book that gives men the confidence to approach and land their dream woman "...Someone who would be out of reach." Click on the link above to read more and order!