By Melissa Balmer
Copyright © 2006, Seduction Insider, www.seductioninsider.com.
“Sexy at the millennium means having a solid sense of self but never taking yourself too seriously” – Rebecca Romjin Stamos
Do you have a solid sense of your sexual self? Are you in touch with all that’s feminine, and sensuous, and erotic about little old you? Well ladies, there’s no time to start like the present, and the gift of the present is that it’s the summer. Why not make this summer sizzle by diving in and finding out just what makes your sensuous and sexual self tick?
Be Original, Be You
A week ago I went to a fashion show for new up and coming designers who’d just graduated from fashion college. In a sea of young people dancing the night away in the heart of Hollywood California on a Friday night two females stood out. Although they were friends they were dressed very differently from each other. One girl (one of the designer’s whose work had been seen on the runway that evening) wore her own version of the 80’s retro look, the other looked as if she could have walked right into an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel complete with the pearls and a flower behind the ear. What was interesting and captivating about each is that they had taken their time to put thought and character into their appearance. Had I been a man I’m not sure which I’d have been smitten with both.
In this day and age of a Gap on every corner, and the fashion media bombarding us not only in magazines, but on T.V., with billboards, and the internet too, it’s easy to lose site of the fact that fashion can be about expressing yourself. Fashion can be about putting the best you forward, not forcing you into a particular cookie cutter ideal. The fashion media leads us to believe that unless we have “x” shoes, pants, or perfume we won’t be desirable. What we forget is that it’s their job to sell those products – not to give us personal fashion advice to make us look our best. Also, unless a man is a serious meterosexual fashionista he isn’t nearly as interested in what you’re wearing as in he is in how good you look and feel wearing it.
Yes, it’s good to show with your appearance that you’re aware we’re in the 21st century. No matter how great you felt about yourself during a particular era, it’s always a good idea to update your look from time to time – even if your look is classic. It shows people that you’re here now, and not Miss Havershim stuck in the past in Great Expectations. Still, even with bowing to a bit of the modern there are a myriad of ways you can show your individuality, your sexuality and sensuality, without becoming a walking advertisement for a particular popular clothing line such as:
-Look for interesting hand-made pieces from designers in your local city/town, or designers online to spice up your regular wardrobe. A unique jacket or handbag can become your own “statement” piece.
-Customize your clothing. In today’s DIY world there are all kinds of websites and magazines out there with great ideas
on how you can add your own unique touches to your clothing and set you apart from the crowd.
-Mix modern trends with vintage finds for your own unique eclectic mix.
-Create your own jewelry and apparel. Why not learn to knit your own sweaters and wraps, or create your own unique necklaces and earrings? There are classes and shops sprouting up all over the place with the materials and know how to teach you all you need to know…and ask your grandmother or mom if you can search through her costume jewelry for pieces you can remake into something new and fun.
Hone Your Sexual Knowledge
How much do you really know about sex? Do you know how to be safe as well as being able to really let loose and enjoy yourself? Do you know how to really please yourself, and then share this information with a lover so you can have scintillating encounters? Do you know what it really takes to get you in the mood, what toys (if any) you like, and all the points in your pelvic floor that increase the intensity of your orgasms?
Do you orgasm? Are you sure? Can you have more than one in a row?
Sex is a topic we can be learn about for the rest of our life and still not know it all – and yet we don’t take it very seriously. Decide you’re ready to role up your sleeves and learn all you can. Challenge yourself to read three books on improving your sex life this summer (one every month). Next week I’ll begin the seduction insider reading room with great books that will open your mind and give you great new ideas so you’ll have no excuse about not knowing where to begin.
Begin Unleashing Your Sensuality
It’s far too easy in our very fast paced society to live almost entirely in our heads and to forget about the needs and wants of our bodies. Take time this summer to slow down and connect with yours. When was the last time you took a long hot bath, bought fresh flowers for yourself just to make your home more beautiful, or had a massage? When was the last time you took a walk in someplace breathtakingly beautiful, wore your sexiest lingerie “just because”, or spent an evening by yourself or with a few good girlfriends sipping a great bottle of wine, listening to romantic sensuous music and watching your favorite sexy/romantic movies?
Why not think of pleasant and easy ways this summer that you can get in touch with your senses? Here are a few examples:
-Make your daily commute more enjoyable with a few new CD’s (or even a few old favorites). When was the last time you listened to exotic and seductive flamenco or the haunting romance of classical?
-Make your daily commute more enjoyable by renting a sexy book on tape.
-Take a belly dancing class.
-Get a henna tattoo in a sexy spot.
-Splurge on scented bath gel and lotion combo and take a long hot bath in only candle light once a week.
Need more ideas? More coming soon in Part 2! (Be sure to check back at SeductionInsider.com in the coming days!)
