How to Talk Dirty
by Muffy Diver
Copyright © 2008, Seduction Insider, www.seductioninsider.com.
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If you've been in a relationship longer than six weeks, you know that it's all too easy to fall into a sexual rut - the same positions, the same methodical rutting, the same satisfying, yet uninspiring, orgasms. If you're lucky.
Fortunately, the world is full of fetishes capable of spicing up even the blandest booty time. Monogamy doesn't have to equal monotony, and you needn't go straight from missionary position to anal fisting to kick it up a notch in the bedroom.
Try talking dirty.
There's something taboo about discussing sex, especially in foul language. A good round of dirty talk can capture some of the fun of new sex with the comfort level of a lover who knows what you like.
Think of dirty talk as the gateway drug to kink - it's cheap, easy, addictive, and it doesn't require lube.
Feeling too inhibited? Miss Muffy has the solution - alcohol. That's right � get nice and fuckin' loaded, and let your inner ho-bag come out to play.
If you're not sure how to get started, there are plenty of books how to spew smut in the sack. But if you don't have the patience to wade through hundreds of pages - or you have a hot date waiting in the next room - here are seven easy hot spots to get your engines started.
Talk pussy.
Guys love to hear a girl talk about her pussy. Hell, they just love to hear you say the word "pussy." Try "Oh, my pussy is so wet." Or, "Feel my pussy, baby, I'm so ready for you." If that seems to be working, try, "Isn't my pussy nice and tight? Don't you love how tight my pussy feels around your cock?"
Also give credit where credit is due - "You make me so wet!" are the five words every man longs to hear. And guys, girls love flattery, whether you're complimenting her hair, her shoes, her manicure or her vajayjay. Tell her how pretty it is, how good it tastes, how tight it is, etc.
Talk cock.
Ladies, there isn't a man alive who doesn't want to hear you expound on the glories of his tool. Tell him his cock is big, long, hard, thick - it doesn't matter, as long as it bears some relationship to the truth. Use the word "cock" a lot. Talk about how you can't wait to have it in you. Then when it's in you, tell him how good it feels.
For guys, you can tell your lady how she makes your dick feel - really hard, ready to fuck - remember, your wood means she's hot. Tell her so!
Talk action.
Much like pro-wrestling, sex can benefit from a good string of colorful commentary. Describe what you're doing, and make sure to use the foulest language imaginable. Summon up the memory of every bathroom wall you've ever seen. Try screaming out "Oh yeah, fuck that pussy!" while he's pounding you. Once again, guys, this is a good time to mention the perfection of her kitty. Both genders can talk technique - tell her how much you love fucking her. Let him know that you love the way he licks your pussy.
Talk shit.
It's a cliche, but it's a cliche for a reason. You'd never tell a woman walking down the street that she's a dirty little slut with a hungry pussy in need of straight up deep dickin' - but it just might make your lady feel like a sex machine.
Talk about what you want to do.
"Lick that clit, baby" or "Suck my nipples" or "Come on my ass!" Fucking is no time for courtesy or etiquette - don't ask, demand. Tell your lover to put his tongue inside you or to come on your tits. Not only will the dirty talk turn him on - he'll probably be glad for the direction. Try describing what you're going to do before you go down on him. "I'm going to run my tongue up and down the shaft and flick the head before I take you all the way into the back of my throat."
He'll probably bust a nut in about 10 seconds after you describe the way you're going to suck his dick.
Announce the main event.
It never hurts to tell your lover that you're about to cum. Not only is it hot, it helps with the timing � and assures him that you ain't faking.
Communicate.
Finally, know what your lover's limitations are, and act accordingly. Like any new act, talking dirty requires a consensus before you get started. Talk to your partner to determine what she likes before you randomly blurt out "suck my dick you dirty fucking whore!"
There you have it. Now go fuck that wet pussy with your big hard cock!
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