Is He a Player?

1. He only gives you his cell phone number or pager even after you’ve been seeing each other for several weeks.

Here’s the deal ladies, if we’re hot after you we want you to be able to contact us no matter where we are, morning, noon, and night. If we think you’re hot, but we’re juggling a few different women, than we don’t want you to have our home number because we don’t want one woman calling when we’re hanging out with another one…overheard voice mail messages can put a big damper on a players game.

2. You never see him more than once a week, twice at the most, no matter how long you’ve been going out.

Players like to keep their options open, so even if they’re not actually dating more than one woman presently they don’t like to be seen with the same woman too often, because they’ve always got women in every port (meaning club, bar, etc.) that they’re trying to get more friendly with. Being seen too many times with the same woman sends the wrong kind of signal. If you’re dating a man who never has more than one night a week for you I’d be rather suspicious.

3. He frequently pulls a disappearing act.

If you’re dating a guy who disappears with the lamest excuses, or even with plausible ones but it happens frequently, you’re either dating a player, someone who’s got some kind of problem (mental, gambling, drugs etc.), or he may even lead a double life. Any way you slice it, a man who disappears into thin air is bad news. If something smells fishy it probably is.

4. He doesn’t make plans more than 24 hours in advance.

Players like to keep their options open. They want to make sure they’re at the hottest party, bar, dance club etc. with the hottest woman possible…which means they don’t like to commit to anything too far in advance. They also tend to rank the women they’re dating since a woman is considered a possible asset in their social world.

If you’re a woman who can open the doors at any party or club with the flash of your smile he’ll be chasing you hard…if you’re not, well, he may wait until the last minute to ask you out. It’s up to you to decide if this is disrespectful or not. I personally wouldn’t stand for it.

5. He’s not interested in getting to know your family, or friends (unless they’re hot women) and he’s not interested in becoming a part of your world.

When a man’s serious about a woman he makes a serious effort to get to know her friends and family. He wants to be liked, and he wants to claim his territory to ward off any possible exes, or suitors-in-waiting. Players, on the other hand, are mostly interested in improving their social status in a hotter and hotter social world. They don’t have time and interest for your friends and family, unless they can improve their social standing.

Players may act jealous on occasion, especially if something happens right under their nose, but they’re very “out of sight, out of mind.” If the man you’re dating has no interest in meeting your parents after months of going out, and can’t be bothered to show up to your sister’s surprise party because he’s got plans with his friends, he’s either a player, a jerk, or both.

6. He lives for the nightlife.

Players love the nightlife and the nightlife loves them. If you’re dating a guy who has no interest in lunch, the park, the zoo, the museum, or any other type of things people do during the day for dates, and he also seems obsessed with getting out to shake his groove thing every night he might well be a player.

7. He wants to rush into sex.

With players it’s all about scoring the booty. He’ll probably try and follow you home (or take you home) the very first night you meet. Oh yeah, sure a lot of us guys want to do this, but players have the nerve to go for it.

So how can you tell a player from just a regular horny Joe with a mad crush on you? Players won’t stay the night at your place, and you won’t be allowed to stay over at theirs. And if they do get lucky players aren’t going to be calling you anytime soon…unless that’s what they’re specifically looking for.

8. He’s Mr.-Short-Attention-Span-Theater.

Players are all about being at the right place, being seen, and enjoying the scene. Yes, he is going to know about the hottest clubs and the nicest restaurants. He’s also going to know how to order a good bottle of wine, or about the latest mixed drink craze. But he’ll probably yawn over politics, the economy, or saving the environment. He wants to keep moving, dancing, drinking and partying again until he crashes just long enough to get up and do it all again.

9. He’ll be more interested in the labels you’re wearing than you are.

Players like to dress well and be noticed for it. They also like their women to dress well (as well as very hot) and be noticed for it. Players are label whores. The right label denotes status and prestige, and players want to be envied and admired both for their appearance and their social clout. If they have to they’ll eat fast food at every meal to afford to the best designer duds and drink the best designer liquor. If you’re dating a man who’s tough on you about your appearance, noticing every small detail, and insists you always dress as sexily as possible (no matter the weather) he may be a player.

10. His posse is more important than you are.

Yes there are some “lone wolf” players out there but most of them travel in packs. If you’re dating a guy who feels the need to either constantly being hanging out with, or in contact with, his group of male buddies then he might well be a player. If he insists that you spend a lot of your time together just hanging out with his buds then he might be a player.

Or he might be an inconsiderate insecure jerk. Either way, if he needs his friends like a security blanket it could spell trouble.