Sexy New Years Resolutions

Out with the Old in with The New

This goes for old clothes in old styles (and things that no longer fit), as well as men from the past you haven’t quite let go of, (or haven’t let go of you). You can’t be totally open to all of the exciting things that wait for you in the hear-and-now mentally, physically, or emotionally if you’re caught up in the past, or someone keeps pulling you back there.

Here’s my two step plan for letting of old relationships, crushes, and flings that you know are keeping you back from living in the present. Every time you think of that old beau you still long for, or the jerk who broke your heart, or an unrequited love mentally wish him well and say, “I release you,” and then switch your attention to a new goal that you want to make happen in your life. You can’t stop thinking negative, sad, or angry thoughts; you have to switch to new and inspiring thoughts. By wishing the person well first, and then mentally saying, “I release you” you’re giving your own subconscious, and the universe, a powerful message that you’re ready to move on to new and exciting things. If someone’s badgering you and won’t let go, send them a short note asking them to please stop contacting you and don’t return their phone calls.

Amazing things happen when you can finally let go of the past and live in the now.


Being Sexy is a State of Mind

No matter how fun, beautiful, and interesting you are, you just aren’t going to be sexy until you accept yourself just as you are right now. You may feel you need to get a better job, lose weight, or go back to school before you can become all you dream of being – and that’s fine – but don’t make your future goals the reason you aren’t great right here and right now. In order to be sexy on more than the outside, you need to create a sexy state of mind to accept yourself on the inside as well.


Stop Lying About Having Orgasms

If you’ve been lying about having orgasms during sexual intercourse (saying yes, when in fact it’s no) make a pact with yourself to never do it again. The same goes for not outright lying, but letting the man assume you’ve had one. No, you don’t have to tell a long term boyfriend, or spouse, that you’ve been lying, instead tell him it doesn’t seem to be working for you the same old way and you’d like to try some new techniques. Don’t make him responsible; make it a game to see which one of you can come up with the most creative, interesting foreplay and intercourse combo that gets you there.

You may not orgasm every single time you have intercourse in the future, but now at least you’ll have a fighting chance to understand what all the fuss is about in the first place!


Stop Making Men Responsible for your Sexual Pleasure

Men aren’t sexual mind readers. They don’t automatically know what you like (and need) in bed in order to have a good time, and yet far too many women feel that that’s exactly the case, and get first angry, and then resentful, when the man doesn’t deliver. Step up to bat and figure out what you need to feel pleasure, and reach orgasms, all by yourself before you slip into bed with a new lover.

If you’ve always wanted to try a sex toy buy one for yourself. If you don’t feel you know enough about sex, buy yourself a few good books online (remember at Amazon.com you can see what other readers had to say). If you’ve always wanted to learn about new and different sexual techniques get a book on Tantric sex or check out the variety of Internet sites dedicated to this ancient, spiritually based, sexual practice.


Get Ready for Safe Sex

There’s nothing worse than having a sexy encounter that could turn into more…but you don’t have protection available. STD’s such as the HPV virus are one of the major contributors to infertility in young women, and HIV is on the rise again because young people aren’t taking enough precautions. Remember, you’re not just sleeping with your partner when you have unprotected sex, you’re having sex with everyone they’ve slept with, and so on and so forth. Make the motto “No glove no love” your motto and play it safe. It’s not slutty to have your own condoms; it’s the safe way to play.


Upgrade Your Lingerie

Men love lingerie. It doesn’t have to be over the top sexy to thrill them, but they really like a woman’s bra and panties to match. They also like bras and panties in happy vibrant colors rather than the basic white, and the safe, very usable, nude.

Any woman who wears a C cup or larger knows how expensive it can get to have matching bras and panties, so here again take advantage of after holiday sales, and set up a lingerie fund for yourself. What little extravagances can you do without in order to be able to buy yourself a new bra and panty set per month? Could you take your lunch more often, rather than going out to lunch at work? Can you go to the library rather than buying those novels? Here’s a great one – invest in the annual subscription of one of your favorite magazines per month rather than buying them on the newsstands. While you’re saving up for new pieces of lingerie, make sure you get rid of all of your old bras and panties that no longer fit anymore and get ready to bring in the new!


Make Your Home a Sexy Sanctuary

Even if you only live in a rented room, make your home “space” a sexy sanctuary where you can not only get away for your own private down time, you can also feel good about inviting in a male guest. Get rid of the clutter and make space for the types of things that will put a smile on your face when you walk in the door, like a small bulletin board filled with photos of family and friends, beautiful places you’d like to visit, and your favorite inspirational quote. Take advantage of after the holiday sales to invest in new colorful sheets that make you happy, vases for fresh flowers, and yet candles – and light them just for yourself while you try out your new toy, or read some vintage Anais Nin for inspiration!