By Melissa Balmer
Copyright © 2006, Seduction Insider, www.seductioninsider.com.
“The Smartest Woman is a woman who has a clear, indisputable sense of her worth and her power. She knows what she brings to a relationship, and she knows what she deserves in return…”
- from the book Men Like Women Who Like Themselves by Steven Carter and Julia Sokol
Here’s the secret to being popular with men – accept yourself, like yourself, and own your power. Does this mean you have absolutely no room for improvement? No, there are always ways to learn, and grow and improve – but here’s the clincher – unless you accept yourself, unless you like yourself and unless you own your own power you’ll never really be able to share how fabulous you are with the world.
But just what the heck to I mean when I say things like “own your own power?”
The truth is that every day we teach the world how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.
And of course this includes men.
One of the biggest mistakes women make in looking for love, or even just a hot date, is “yearning” for it rather than actually getting out there and letting the sort of men they’re attracted to know they not only exist, but that they’re a hot commodity so he’d better take notice. Here’s what we so often forget – Cinderella actually got dressed up and went to the ball. She’d already dazzled Prince Charming in person first before he went looking all over the countryside for her.
Talk about making a great first impression!
Stop waiting for a man to discover some hidden, but cherished aspect of your romantic and sexual nature and instead dust it off, and share it with the world yourself. Yes, it’s scary as heck in the beginning. Yes, at times you’ll feel like a fool – but feel the fear and do it anyway, it’s the only way to let the world, and especially men, know all about the wonders of you.
Let’s look at some examples of what I’m talking about:
1. Don’t wait for a man to have a great night out on the town.
You’re never too old (or too young) to have a girl’s night out exploring all of the fun and exciting places you’ve heard about and have longed to go dates. Where is it that you’ve wanted to go? That hot new tequila bar and salsa dancing? Out to that romantic new French bistro with the fabulous atmosphere? To the bar at the tallest building in your city at sunset for drinks and the view? Heck, what about white river rafting, or to the strip club that’s causing all the commotion? Organize a group of your female friends together and go! Don’t wait! Guess who’s going to out at the same place? Men who’ve also wanted to check out the very same places, and nothing catches the eye (and rallies his courage) of singles guys than the site of a bunch of women enjoying themselves.
Don’t have a group of female friends who’d like to join you for an evening of fun? No sweat. With the Internet and sites like Craigslist.org you can easily meet other women who have similar interests who’d love to get together and explore the hot spots of your town or city.
The more you’re seen out and about at popular spots for singles on a regular basis the easier it will be for men to approach you. Most women just have no idea how shy so many men actually are. It may take a man who’s caught your eye a few times of seeing you someplace before he’s ready to actually come up and talk to you – if you don’t beat him to it!
2. Don’t wait for a man to buy you beautiful, sexy lingerie.
Here’s the deal, while men love lingerie just as much (if not more) than women do, they aren’t always great at buying it. First, they may feel intimidated by the selection and finding something you’ll like, and secondly they may have wildly different taste than you. The solution is to invest in yourself and buy your own (which will then give a man a good idea of the sort of thing he should buy for you). No, not all of us can afford to splurge regularly on Cosa Bella and La Perla, so fortunately we have great deals at places like Victoria’s Secret as well as a myriad of great places on the Internet.
Nothing makes you feel more sexy and feminine than wearing beautiful lingerie under you business suit or favorite outfit. It ads a twinkle to your smile and pizzazz to your walk because you know you’ve got a secret – and trust men, men are going to want to find out what your secret is.
3. Do what you love.
Okay, you’ve heard this before but I’m going to say it again. If you do what you love you’re a happy woman, and happy women are like catnip to men. Men find happy women open and approachable (again, please remember how shy many men are). They feel a happy smiling woman is far more likely to give them a chance than a woman closed off and preoccupied. And you know what? They’re right!
I know it might not be possible at this point in your life to run off and follow your dreams because you’ve got bills and responsibilities – but that doesn’t mean you can’t find meaningful ways to add what you love to your life. Somewhere in your town or city there’s a possibility to take pottery classes, learn more about horticulture and create an amazing garden, or learn how to rock climb. Whatever it is you love to do if there’s a will within you to make it be a part of your life you’ll succeed.
Too many of us (both men and women) put the things we’d love to do on the back shelf of our lives thinking we’ll take the time later, forgetting that doing what we love is one of the absolute best ways to meet someone of the opposite sex we’ll really spark with.
So what would you love to do? Work in politics? Help plant trees? Learn a foreign language? Whatever it is you’ve been longing to do there are men out there who are already indulging their passion just waiting to meet a kindred spirit just like you.
