By Jackson Morris
Copyright © 2006, Seduction Insider, www.seductioninsider.com.
The average person using online dating services spends an average of $60 or more per year on such sites as eHarmony.com, Match.com, True.com and dozens of others that cater to every fetish and religion known to man.
One of the biggest advertisers of this site is Adultfrieindfinder.com - a service that allows singles and couples to co-mingle in cyberspace to find love, sex and even marriage. Spending less than $100 a year to find love sounds like a pretty good deal to me but the key to this investment is don't invest anything else like your heart or your mind until you know about your online match in real life.
I have personally used memberships at least 4 websites and frankly I thought I was looking for love but I found countless lonely women who really just wanted to get laid - they wanted some warm companionship. Many women state in their profiles that they want to have children. I have slept with three of those women from Match.com and never once gave them the inclination that I wanted children with them or anyone else.
Do You Want To Settle Down, Or Just Horny?
Were they "looking for a guy to settle down with" or just horny? I bet it is the latter of the two.
A recent report shows that the longevity and success of marriages that initiated online don't have a massive success ratio. Why would it? Reading someone's profile is kind of like reading a menu at a restaurant. Sure the dish sounds tasty - but what if it has too much salt or too much garlic or too much curry, then it will surely leave a bad taste in your mouth. The shame of it is, you have to buy the meal to taste it, don't you?
I say no!
Don't Be In Love With Falling In Love
Falling in love is like getting a college degree; it does not happen overnight and sometimes you have to take tests that have nothing to do with the real world. If you are in love with the idea of being in love then you are what is known as a "serial dater" or "hopeless romantic", either way you should stay off the internet because you are only looking for the quick fix. Don't sign up for these sites if you are desperate because desperate attracts geeks, and it also attracts predators.
Men know when a woman is vulnerable and will wear a fake halo if it means scratching her itch. Desperate is also NEEDY. To me, a girl or a guy that is needy is worse than someone who has bad breath.
What Are You Willing To Give Up?
In the 40-year old virgin he had to give up all of his toys for her which seems silly but it was important to him. I have yet to see an online profile that says, "I love to compromise and let other people have their way". If a gal has that in her profile I will marry her myself with no pre-nuptial agreement. Compromise is the number one ingredient after communication in a successful relationship but most people are not honest about what compromises and sacrifices they are willing to make. His smoking a cigar might seem novel until it annoys you and he does not want to give it up. Was that in the profile?
Do More Talking Than Writing
Third of all, do more talking than writing. As soon as you meet someone through an online dating service the sooner you talk to them the better. Voice, influx, tone, articulation and vocabulary can tell you a lot about someone. We all look good on paper but when we are put on the spot is when the real cream rises to the top. Ask a lot of questions but keep it light. You want as much personality to come through the phone as possible. He might be in traffic during the call and you hear him yelling at other cars, exuding a temper. You won't find that in the profile. Also, is there balance in the conversation? Is this person asking questions or wondering when you two are going to suck face? Get on the phone and get on the same page.
It Is A Date, Nothing More Nothing Less
The first date should be on equal ground for both of you and you should take your own car because it is smart and safe. Some guys are aggressive and will want a way home, and some girls are drunks and you don't want to be babysitting them all night. Most important, don't take the date too seriously. It is a date, so have fun and be yourself without any game or pretense.
If you have no expectations it will be hard to be disappointed. For both men and women I say this, "If you know it is not a match - tell them immediately and end the date". It might hurt their feelings but it will hurt less than them thinking they will see you again when you know they won't.
Do you really want to turn you online dating experience into a healthy one with many new friends and connections????
THROW A PARTY!
It is easy to meet dozens of people from the online dating sites and some of them even have chat rooms like Adultfriendfinder where you can chat right then with the person on line. I had a girl flirt with me from the site and I was not interested.
She was so cool about it and invited me to a party she threw for all the people she met through the site. Two people that met at that party are still together a year later. I only got laid which was worth the 16 dollars in gas I put out to go.
My point is, the online community marriages are no different than the ones offline. In both, people actually have to go to the trouble of getting to know each other.
