How To Develop A Sexy Voice

If You Lack Good Looks, Or Simply Want To Attract More Men And Women, The Secret Is In Your Voice

You see, unlike our thumbprint, or our height, our voices are like clay. We can literally mold our voice to our will – if we so choose. We’ve all done it from time to time, faking a British or Southern accent for the fun of it, or because we were cast in a school play, but most of us leave it at that.

It use to be that only professional actors, and newscasters, and those desperate to rid themselves of proof of a working class background seemed to work diligently to create voices for themselves that will set themselves apart in a positive way, but things are changing.

More and more people are realizing that they too can create a more alluring voice for themselves and play it to their advantage – whether on a sales call, or for a night on the town.

You see, both men and women with all sorts of physical disadvantages (such as baldness, extra pounds, irregular features etc. etc.) can allure and seduce with great ease if they have a voice others find attractive, soothing and seductive. People can be both ugly and sexy has hell at the same time – especially men, but you’ve got to have a great sexy voice fighting for you in your corner.

But where do you begin? How do you start down the path of creating a voice that’s going to be one that beckons others closer, rather than annoying them away?

I’m going to share with you pointers I’ve picked up myself as a trained Toastmaster’s speaker, and also from the great book “Speak to Influence” by Susan Berkley (which I highly recommend you buy and ready for yourself).


Recognize Your Weaknesses

We can’t do anything to change for the better until we recognize there’s a need. Where does your voice fall short of being seductive? Do you have a squeaky pitch? Do you have a regional accent that makes you sound less sophisticated than you are? Do you come across as annoyed and put out when you’re neither?


Warming Up an Annoying Tone

Some people believe they get more from life by constantly being prepared for a fight. These people can have a hard, challenging edge to their regular speaking voice without realizing it because “quick to anger” is their default setting – and this can be both men and women. What they don’t realize is that the “edge” they have in their voice might make sure they get a refund for a faulty product they bought, but it’s not going to win them easy dates.

Is this you? Do you go about your day with a chip on your shoulder? Try the following to break yourself out of your “almost always angry” voice mode into something that others will find more appealing:

Remind yourself to relax, and breath deep. Put little notes to yourself to do exactly this where you’ll see them when you’re on the phone, like your car, your fridge, and your office computer.

Remind yourself “this isn’t a battle, it’s a conversation” when speaking to someone in a social setting and find your voice starting to get that “edge” in it again. Remember the end goal is to allure them with your voice, not beat them into submission with it!

Smile when you speak on the phone. According to Susan Berkley putting a smile on your face puts a smile in your voice.


Warming up Your Pitch

Perhaps you’re almost always perfectly cordial in tone, but maybe it’s your pitch that’s less than sexy. In most cases this is because our face and throat and neck and shoulders are filled with tension we’re not even aware we’re carrying around, and this causes the pitch of our voice to be higher and more awkward than it would be naturally. Try the following to get it to relax into a lower, richer, more appealing pitch:

Remind yourself breath deep and to speak from a low, relaxed place in your throat – not in the high place we speak from when we’re nervous, and tense, and anxious.

Become conscious of where you carry tension in your neck, shoulders, and jaw and remind yourself to relax these areas of your body. It takes constant diligence, but it’ll reap rewards – including fewer tension headaches and neck aches!

Susan Berkley recommends you keep a photo of a beautiful child, or some other sort of photo you find beautiful and inspiring by your phone to put you in the right mood when you pick up the phone.

Think, “flirt” no matter whom you’re speaking to. When we flirt we automatically lower the pitch of our voice to something more beguiling – but to develop a great pitch you’ve got to use it or lose it. So don’t save your flirting for dates. Great sales people flirt with the pitch and tone of their voices all the time, they just keep the words professional. Borrow this technique to strengthen your own warm tone so that your voice will be rich and strong when you need it most!


Let Go Of A Regional Accent Holding You Back

Fran Dresher has found a way to make her nasal working class New York voice work for her acting career; however, it’s probably kept her very type cast as well. Why let something as simple as an accent others don’t find very appealing hold you back? Think I’m making a mountain out of a molehill? Let’s listen to Susan Berkley again:

“A dialect or regional accent can cause people to make unfair judgments about you and your products or services.”

The same can be said for those who say, “axed” instead of “asked.”

You’re worth more than an accent people will use to pigeon hole you with (and that goes for possible employers to possible dates). Here’s how you can move towards a voice that will open doors for you rather than shutting them:

Tape record your own voice and then tape record a voice you admire and aspire to. It can be a friend, but if you’re self-conscious why not tape-record a well- known newscaster or celebrity? Compare the two voices and work on mimicking the voice you aspire to.

Listen to books on tape or CD read by celebrities with great voices. Of course if you’re a man you should listen to a man, and a woman a woman. And no, don’t try to pick up a fake British accent. If you want to improve your vocabulary as well listen to classic literature rather than modern day releases. You can also buy tapes and CDs that are only for vocabulary building, but they’re pretty boring and dry.