By Melissa Balmer
Copyright © 2006, Seduction Insider, www.seductioninsider.com.
Ladies, ired of waking up and wondering why in the world you
gave that creep your phone number?
Or guys wondering who in
the heck the blonde is you've woken up next to?
Well
then my readers, it's time stop using alcohol to
create your romantic and sexual chemistry with alcohol - or
any other drug that might just happen to be your
crutch of choice.
Because yes, drugs and alcohol are a crutch, and a
very clumsy one at that, most especially when you move
from needing something to "loosen up" to needing
something just in order to say hello to that cute
stranger.
Get in the Right Mindset to Enjoy Yourself
Here's a shocker - you actually control your
thoughts, they don't control you. I know it's hard to
accept, but it's true. It's not an easy skill to
master, because our mind likes to chatter on all day
long with lots of negative drivel, but once you do you
realize that you're far more in the driver's seat with
your thoughts than you ever realized, you'll also
realize you can shape your emotions, and you don't
need a drink or drugs to do so.
Now I'm not going to say that if you lost your job, or
a close family member died you could convince yourself
not to be upset. But most of us don't spend our time
upset over real tragedies, most of us spend our time
mildly annoyed and depressed because we either
rehearse old petty annoyances, or project future ones.
Sitting in the car, walking down the street, waiting
in line, sitting in our office pretending to work, we
are consumed with annoying and negative thoughts, day
in, day out, three hundred and sixty five days a year
- many of them about the opposite sex and possible
rejections.
This is no way to be ready to create sparks, but it's
certainly the way to need a drink! Give yourself a
break and create a "happiness transition" before you
go out and try and connect with someone (or
even a few).
These may seem like really simple steps
but why not give them a try and see how effective they
are:
Make yourself "getting in the mood" music to listen
to on the way home from work and while you're getting
ready to go out. Don't use music that reminds you of
an ex! Use music that reminds you of happy moments in
your life.
Leave yourself notes on your bathroom mirror and in
your car, an inspirational quote, or even something
simple like "Sexy Thoughts."
Don't rush your "going out" evenings. Stop trying
to cram so much into your schedule that you're a
frantic nervous wreck and have to hurry to get ready.
Give yourself time to spend some quiet time alone
getting into a good headspace, and have enough time to
look sharp.
Don't Hang your Hopes on "One" Evening
If you go out in the evening, or to any social event,
with mindset of meeting interesting new people and
enjoying yourself you are in charge of making
it happen. If you go out with the mindset that you'll
die of loneliness unless meet Prince or
Princess Charming, or hook up and have fabulous sex,
there's a very good chance you'll end up disappointed.
Creating Social Chemistry is a Skill
Being good at meeting attractive members of the
opposite sex is actually a process, just the way
creating a new positive mindset is. Realizing this
takes the pressure off that "one" encounter that
didn't go right, or that "one" evening when "he" or
"she" was suppose to be there and didn't show. Don't
beat yourself up for small mistakes and mishaps. The
world is full of attractive single men and women.
Rather than focusing on meeting an attractive stranger
that makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck,
focus on improving rapport with attractive members of
the opposite sex. Focus on improving one small part
of your socializing and flirting skills.
Perhaps it's
smiling at someone you think is cute even if they
don't smile first, or approaching a stranger and
asking them to dance, or paying someone a compliment,
or holding eye contact for at least three seconds.
Take baby steps you and you'll feel good about your
accomplishments. And remember, the more you practice
the easier it gets.
