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When it comes to fucking, guys have an advantage. Without a hard-on, it's not likely to happen. And it's almost guaranteed that the guy will come. It's easy, right? Stroke, insert, thrust, jizz. Reliable. Dependable. Predictable. Like gas station coffee, or chain restaurant pizza.
But sometimes, don't you crave a 10-topping supreme?
Every guy has had the Legendary Lay. The stuff of stories. The marathon fuckfests that left your balls sore, your back clawed and a big, shit-eating grin on your face. The kind of night you think fondly of, even after all that's left of the crazy bitch who gave it to you is the memory - and possibly an outstanding restraining order.
But what makes the difference between a girl who's a decent lay and a truly spectacular lay? Just what the hell makes a woman great in bed? Ever vigilant, we here at Adult Friend Finder Magazine were determined to find out. It's for the good of humanity! Or something.
Armed with a wad of cash and endless patience, we headed straight for the nearest watering hole patronized by young men of our acquaintance. When AFF is on is on a story, nothing stands in our way, not rain, not sleep, not hefty bar tabs, not even our male friends' surprising shyness about their sexual proclivities. But we're nothing if not professionals. With enough rounds of cocktails, the lips, you'll be unsurprised to note, loosened.
Listen up, ladies - turns out the secrets to the Legendary Lay aren't complicated, and involve nary a lick of Tantra nor even one pose from the Kama Sutra. Or so we heard at the bar.
Among the men we polled, one quality stood out: inhibitions, it turns out, aren't cool. Unbridled enthusiasm is the way to go.
"I love it when a chick is crazy for my cock," said a young man we'll call Phillippe, a 38-year-old manager (names have been changed to protect the guilty). "When a girl is acting like she can't wait to have it in her, it's such a turn on."
Lest you think males unsubtle, Ernest, a 32-year-old engineer, admits that some refinements have a place in the Legendary Lay: "Dirty talk helps," he said.
But even more important than dirty talk - we know, right? - is the blow job. Oh, the mighty blow job.
It's every man's fantasy that a woman will come along whose pussy gets wet and whose nipples turn hard from the simple act of sucking his cock. Make that work for you, and you'll win a spot on his wall of fame, said John, a 28-year-old office worker.
"There's no wrong way to ask," he said. "And there's no such thing as too deep of a deep throat."
Non-missionary positions, 28-year-old musician Esteban notes, are also hot.
"Her legs over my shoulders, doggie style, her on top...reverse cowgirl," he said, eyes glazing over. "Yeah, those work."
Atmosphere is no less important.
"Don't forget the music," said Henry, a 24-year-old contractor. "And none of that sentimental stuff. We'd like something with a beat to it, something a little more rock and roll."
On the heels of that straightforward advice, Henry threw us a stumper: "There's also the passive/aggressive thing."
What passive/aggressive thing, we ask?
"You know... sometimes it's good for girls to be passive, sometimes we like them to be aggressive," he said.
But which? When? Why? How? We asked.
"I don't know. And it's hard for us to really articulate," he said.
Thanks a lot, Henry.
Seamus, a 32-year-old information technology specialist, offers more direct insight.
"I don't really know what makes a spectacular lay," he said. "But it usually involves vodka."
So, to sum up: be uninhibited. Be adventurous, and don't be afraid to go with the flow. Most importantly, the best way to find out what drives your man wild, as always, is to ask. And then, suck his cock.

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